Some people think that the increase in the number of obese people should be the responsibility of the governments, while other think it should be the responsibility of individuals. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #responsibility #governments #individuals

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Obesity is a big question all around the world.

This

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issue is increasingly high these days. And, some people claim

that is

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the government's responsibility

however

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, some of them think in another way. In

this

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article, I will discuss both sides. Still, my thoughts are on the second idea. Nowadays, with the increasing number of fast foods, becoming an obese person is very easy.

Firstly

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, fast foods and a regular lifestyle cause

this

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complication. Because of these, we can easily say that governments and their laws cause

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dispute. Governments can make some laws and rules about our diet. Because of their economic politics. Economical politics may affect our habits.

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, some countries, like Turkey have difficult life conditions. Turkish people do not have enough money to live. So, they can not feed very well. They can not buy qualified food for their body and brain health. If you do not have enough money, you could be prone to eating fast food. The fast meal has a lot of oil.

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type of oil significantly damages your body. You will be prone to be obese.

Secondly

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, making dishes is so hard for teenagers. They prefer to eat from outside as bad quality food.

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, hamburgers, pizza, french fries etc.

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meal is so cheap and delicious rather than cooking at home.

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, with the economic problems, states are encouraging to us cheap and unhealthy things.So,

that is

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why, a part of families said that government has a lot of responsibility.

On the other hand

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, some of them think

that is

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everyone's own idea. Everybody is free for their lifestyle and their personal claims. All humans have self-determination. So, they are reasons for their own behaviours. Neither the state nor the rules can do anything their life

habts

Correct your spelling

habits

. In conclusion, both of the claims are so meaningful to me.

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, the second claim is more meaningful. States, laws, and rules have a magnificent role in our lives

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, we can easily handle them If we have

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apply

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freedom. Children, teenagers and others should take care of their bodies. Unfortunately, there are a lot of factors. Humanity does not forget its responsibilities.

Submitted by ecem.tekben on Fri Jan 03 2025

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cohesion

Ensure clarity and coherence by organizing thoughts logically. Introduce each main idea with a clear topic sentence, and use linking words to improve the flow.

task

Enhance the depth of your task response by addressing potential counterarguments and providing more balanced insight into each perspective.

task

The essay clearly addresses both perspectives of the issue as required by the prompt.

task

Uses relevant examples to support the argument, specifically touching on the economic aspects and fast food consumption.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

362 words

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Some people think that the increase in the number of obese people should be the responsibility of the governments, while other think it should be the responsibility of individuals. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

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These days, many children in western countries are obese. What are the causes and solutions to this problem?

Many think that religion should be taught in schools while others think it should be avoided. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

In your opinion how can the government of each country eradicate or lessen the crimes committed by their own people? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

More and more people nowadays visit well-known places to take photographs of themselves, without looking at the place. Why do you think this happen? Is it a positive or negative trend?