IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that young children under 18 years old should not be allow to go out after midnight, while other thinks the opposite? Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #children #years #midnight
Some people are convinced that toddlers should not be allowed to be out during midnight
hours
.
On the other hand
, other people say that we should give them a space to gain confidence. In
this
 essay, I am going to discuss both of these viewpoints and the reason why I concur with the former statement.
To begin
 with, the first point is restricting youngsters from staying outside during late
hours
. Obviously, the purpose of the restriction is because of
safety
 concerns. Strict curfews help to ensure the
safety
 of young children from potential harms,
such
 as crimes, kidnapping, or accidents. Normally, the working
hours
 end between 5 pm to 9 pm.
Hence
, the crowd in the cities is gradually getting smaller.
Consequently
, crimes and kidnaping are committed during late
hours
 because of the lack of monitoring.
Therefore
, adults should teach their beloved children to get home earlier to ensure their
safety
.
On the other hand
, other individuals stated that allowing kids to stay until late
hours
 is beneficial to them and plays a significant role in self-development.
For example
, when a young person stays a long time outside his place, he will constantly encounter several activities.
Therefore
, he'll meet new people, learn new stuff, and gain new experience. In conclusion, the
safety
 of teenagers is important.
However
, it should not be the main factor in preventing children from developing themselves.
Submitted by abaadiip on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the task. While you've presented both sides of the argument and your opinion, expanding on your own view with further explanations or examples will create a more balanced and thorough response.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, use a wider range of linking devices and topic sentences to clearly show when you are moving between ideas or viewpoints. This will help add clarity to your argument structure.
task achievement
In your essay, provide more specific examples to support your points. Example scenarios, evidence or case studies make your argument more compelling and demonstrate an ability to think critically about the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Curfew
  • Potential dangers
  • Mature decisions
  • Personal development
  • Parental supervision
  • Earn trust
  • Legal restrictions
  • Societal norms
  • Minors
  • Sleep patterns
  • Performance in school
  • Overall health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: