some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #support #aid #organizations #attention #celebrities

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It is often reported that

celebrities

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provide essential

support

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for international aid

organizations

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While

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some people believe that their courageous acts are successful in drawing the attention of the public, others believe that they make global issues less significant. I generally

support

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the former view for the following reasons. On one hand, it is certain that the active

support

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celebrities

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has negligible effects on international aid

organizations

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For example

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, a movement called "bucket" which was first initiated by a famous actress in the U.S. is able to collect funds of millions of dollars to help those who suffer from serious illness and malnutrition around the world.

Furthermore

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, the movement gains instant attention as the video she posted on Twitter encouraged them to spread at an accelerating speed.

Therefore

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, it leads not only to growing financial

support

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but

also

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increasing awareness toward global issues

such

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as AIDS and war.

On the other hand

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, the act of famous people helping international

organizations

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potentially underestimates global issues. Indeed, their reports to highlight the devastating effects of war seem less urgent when wealthy stars wear fancy clothing themselves.

In other words

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, they only promote their own personal image with humanitarian acts rather than lead to the prevalence of understanding of the unfortunate situations.

Thus

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, the advantages that

celebrities

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gain will increase but the real pain and struggles of locals remain unrevealed to the world. In conclusion,

celebrities

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' acts to help

organizations

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have a surprising effect on the public.

However

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, they often gain positive feedback to their own advantage and do not always accomplish the true purpose.

Submitted by mizuho_kondo117 on Sun Feb 19 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

endorse
international aid organizations
public awareness
amplify
advocacy
systemic change
oversimplification
trivialization
undermining
severity
misinformed advocacy
distorts
hamper
guided by experts
constructive
strategically

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some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that reading stories in books is better than watching TV or playing games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news, and would it be better if more good news was

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

TOPIC: EDUCATION TRUANCY IN CHILDREN Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries the number of police officers in active service is decreasing. What do you think maybe the reason for this? What effects might this have on society?