IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbours and there is no sense of community anymore. What do you think are the causes of this lack of sense of community? Suggest measures that might deal with this situation.

#cities #people #neighbours #sense #community #lack #measures #situation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
While
Linking Words
 urban societies have allowed
people
Use synonyms
 to enjoy a more convenient and comfortable way of life, they have
also
Linking Words
 caused many
individuals
Use synonyms
 today to isolate themselves from their
Use synonyms
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
. A number of reasons can be attributed to
this
Linking Words
 tendency among city dwellers.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 situation can be addressed effectively if certain proactive steps are taken by the government and the urban population. In my opinion,
people
Use synonyms
 who have chosen to live in
cities
Use synonyms
 tend not to know their
Use synonyms
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 because the lifestyle in metropolitan communities is often frantic-paced and isolating.
People
Use synonyms
 tend to take comfort from their immediate families or flatmates rather than the more traditional
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 networks one might find in rural areas.
Moreover
Linking Words
, as
cities
Use synonyms
 become more crowded,
people
Use synonyms
 are forced to live in high-rise apartments where it is more difficult to meet and associate with
Use synonyms
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
. The normal opportunities to mingle in common areas or be introduced to others through family networks are denied most in these places. To make matters worse,
individuals
Use synonyms
 often find it difficult to trust strangers in the masses of unknown
people
Use synonyms
 they confront because
cities
Use synonyms
 can promote selfish attitudes and odd agendas. Today, the old adage to not trust strangers appears even more valid in the midst of unfamiliar
people
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 lack of sense of
community
Use synonyms
 may be addressed by personal effort and by the creation of spaces and areas that encourage the development of
community
Use synonyms
 interaction and relationship building.
Individuals
Use synonyms
 can make an effort to engage with their
Use synonyms
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 by means of open communication, and the associations which run high-rise condominiums can host certain events appropriate to the different age groups of the residents.
In addition
Linking Words
 to individual and concerted efforts to encourage a sense of belonging to a
community
Use synonyms
, local governments, which benefit from taxes levied on housing units, should build and operate leisure parks and recreational
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
while
Linking Words
 promoting their use by the local population. Interactions at these public places promote a feeling of inclusion and belongingness, thereby promoting
community
Use synonyms
 spirit and establishing bonds and relationships among
individuals
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the isolation often experienced in
cities
Use synonyms
 can be dealt with. All
that is
Linking Words
 required is a reframing of the idea of
community
Use synonyms
 and goodwill in doing
this
Linking Words
.
Submitted by kmaegalilee on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: