IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better careers for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is often argued that the
day
Correct your spelling
daycare
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care
Use synonyms
 centres are
better
Add an article
a better
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 alternative to keep the
Use synonyms
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 involved before
their
Change the word
the
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 age of
primary
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the primary
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 school ,
while
Linking Words
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of people have
opinion
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the opinion
an opinion
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 that if the younger ones would live with their grandparents ,it would be
a
Change the article
apply
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more beneficial .In my point of view , both aspects have
equal
Add an article
an equal
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 role in
mental
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the mental
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 and physical development of
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
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. On the one hand ,
child
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 centres are the best option either for working
parents
Use synonyms
 or single
parents
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 , because these days workloads
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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weigh more than everything
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
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 basis .
Therefore
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 , for working
parents
Use synonyms
 or single
parents
Use synonyms
 , it is quite difficult to devote some time to look after their kids and
to teach
Change the verb form
teaching
show examples
 them basic skills like speaking , walking etcetera.
Consequently
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 , these play way schools compensate the same , as
guardian
Fix the agreement mistake
guardians
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 can easily go to their work by leaving their kids there .
Furthermore
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 , it would teach the
child
Use synonyms
 from
very
Correct article usage
the very
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begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sociable and gregarious , as these days
everone
Correct your spelling
everyone
 plans for small families , in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cases
Add an article
the cases
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 the
parents
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 prefer only one
child
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 . In turn , the single
child
Use synonyms
 would not be able to adapt herself
with
Change preposition
to
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 other pupils , but in
day
Correct your spelling
daycare
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care
Use synonyms
 centres
this
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 drawback can be eliminated ,as there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 over there which ends up
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teaching the kid to be social .
Moreover
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, it would
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 in not only
physical
Correct article usage
the physical
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 development of
Use synonyms
child
Add an article
the child
a child
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 but
also
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mental
Correct article usage
the mental
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devlopment
Correct your spelling
development
 as there are
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 of ways to keep
Use synonyms
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 involved . On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, living with grandparents would enhance the love of
youngones
Correct your spelling
young ones
 towards their family ,which is a need of the time .To move
further
Linking Words
 , by living with the elders they would develop basic
ettiquetes
Correct your spelling
etiquettes
etiquette
 like
respect
Wrong verb form
respecting
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 elders . In the support of
this
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 view ,
the
Remove the article
apply
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another major reason is that
older
Correct article usage
the older
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 generation is a treasure of wisdom and knowledge , they act as a boon to transfer the same to their
grand kids
Correct your spelling
grandkids
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. It would generate love in
delicate
Correct article usage
the delicate
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 minds of
Use synonyms
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 for their families .
To conclude
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, in my viewpoint , both aspects should go
similarly
Linking Words
 for
basic
Correct article usage
the basic
show examples
 development of
Use synonyms
child
Add an article
the child
a child
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 .
Although
Linking Words
 by living with grandparents
Use synonyms
child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
 would be able to get attached
with
Change preposition
to
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 his/ her family
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
with the help of
child
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 centre they will develop social
ettiquetes
Correct your spelling
etiquettes
etiquette
 like living with others , sharing and many more traits that are
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 for a
child
Use synonyms
 to develop into a well - mannered human being .

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • childcare centres
  • pre-school age
  • structured learning environment
  • educational activities
  • socialize
  • interact
  • peers
  • committed schedule
  • drop-off
  • pick-up
  • loving
  • nurturing
  • individualized attention
  • cultural
  • familial traditions
  • flexible
  • accommodating
  • intergenerational bond
  • support system
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