Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of that all mothers and fathers should be required to take the childcare training courses. Do you agree or disagree?

#children #job #society #mothers #fathers #childcare #courses

There is no doubt that raising children is probably the most important job anyone can possess.

However

, some people would argue that childcare training

courses

must be compulsory for those wishing to become

parents

. I believe that, despite its benefits, it should remain the parent’s choice. One of the most significant advantages of childcare training

courses

is that they increase the potential of

parents

to play their role in society.

This

is because these

courses

aim to teach mothers and fathers important skills

such

as controlling their temper, dealing with infants, and a lot of other qualities .

Moreover

, they explore various approaches relative to child-rearing enhancing

parents

with different methods so they can make the decisions that suit their child’s needs the best.

As a result

, that kind of education will impact the nature of the parent-child relationship, making it healthier and nearly conflict-free.

Nevertheless

, it’s vital that

this

initiative is the sole choice of the

parents

and not obligatory for all of them. The reason for

this

is that not all

parents

need that kind of training, as some rely on their natural instincts and are capable of raising their children without

further

education.

Thus

, forcing them to take these classes would be unjust and a waste of both their money and time, which they could put into actually caring for their young ones.

On the other hand

, if these

courses

are considered an option, they would be approached only by those who think that that kind of training might be helpful, making the best of that education. In conclusion,

although

taking childcare training

courses

might be useful for conducting healthier families, I believe that

such

training should not be a must but rather a choice in order to prevent the scattering of both time and money.

Submitted by m.mahmoud.2005 on Sat Nov 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider using more varied linking phrases or vocabulary to enhance coherence.

coherence cohesion

Occasional refinement of sentence structure could elevate clarity.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining the key argument effectively.

task achievement

The main points are logically structured and well-supported, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The essay maintains a logical flow from introduction to conclusion, making the argument easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Parenting skills
Child development
Societal progress
Parental responsibility
Gender equality in parenting
Mandatory training
Childcare expertise
Family dynamics
Parent-child relationship
Emotional development
Physical development
Educational development
Parental autonomy
Socioeconomic accessibility
Voluntary attendance
Neglect and abuse prevention
Knowledge acquisition
Informed decision-making

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Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of that all mothers and fathers should be required to take the childcare training courses. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Today more and more people want things instanly. Why is this ? Is it positive or negative development ?

Every year several Ianuages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Many countries are struggling with increases in crime rates and some think that having more police on the streets is the best way to reduce these increasing levels of crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?