Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

Nowadays, the indicator of a famous person is concerning their appearance or financial position rather than their achievements. Some

people

suppose that it is a negative model for young

people

. In

this

essay, I am going to discuss why I agree with it. On the one hand, teenagers will build up

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mistaken values. They always learn what they see

upon

Change preposition

show examples

the internet or television. So they will be

teached

Correct your spelling

taught

show examples

incorrect concepts of

money

and behaviour. To achieve

this

purpose, they will do some illegal or unethical

conducts

Fix the agreement mistake

conduct

show examples

For example

, juveniles will steal or rob brand shops to get the products that their idols possess.

As a result

, it will have a significant impact on their future and thoughts.

On the other hand

, it influences the relationship

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between

show examples

families. For acting like the celebrities that they follow, young

people

will buy the brand which the famous person is using. It needs tons of

money

to aim.

However

, they do not have

ability

Change the article

the ability

show examples

to earn

money

, they can only rely on their parents. If parents cannot offer it, they may use their path for achieving it.

For instance

, young

people

may secretly take

money

or credit cards from their parents.

Therefore

, it will break

trust

Add an article

the trust

show examples

between each other and crack domestic harmony. In conclusion, it is better not to follow

this

type of person for family and

avoiding

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to avoid

show examples

crime. Those

people

should not be the role model

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for

show examples

teenagers because they do not teach any useful things to them

as well as

leading them to walk

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down

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

wrong route.

Submitted by tom593498436 on Sun Feb 19 2023

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Most scientific inventions and discoveries are worthless and only waste of time and money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reason for this, and suggest some solutions. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

In some societies, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might the parental role develop in the future?

In many parts of the world, some famous people are considered as 'role models' and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is this a positive or negative development?

in many countries, more and more young people are leaving school and unable to find jobs after graduation. What problems do you think youth unemployment will cause to the individual and society?give reasons and make some suggestions.