Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

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Nowadays, the indicator of a famous person is concerning their appearance or financial position rather than their achievements. Some

people

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suppose that it is a negative model for young

people

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. In

this

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essay, I am going to discuss why I agree with it. On the one hand, teenagers will build up

with

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apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

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mistaken values. They always learn what they see

upon

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show examples

the internet or television. So they will be

teached

Correct your spelling

taught

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incorrect concepts of

money

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and behaviour. To achieve

this

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purpose, they will do some illegal or unethical

conducts

Fix the agreement mistake

conduct

show examples

For example

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, juveniles will steal or rob brand shops to get the products that their idols possess.

As a result

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, it will have a significant impact on their future and thoughts.

On the other hand

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, it influences the relationship

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between

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families. For acting like the celebrities that they follow, young

people

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will buy the brand which the famous person is using. It needs tons of

money

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to aim.

However

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, they do not have

ability

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the ability

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to earn

money

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, they can only rely on their parents. If parents cannot offer it, they may use their path for achieving it.

For instance

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, young

people

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may secretly take

money

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or credit cards from their parents.

Therefore

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, it will break

trust

Add an article

the trust

show examples

between each other and crack domestic harmony. In conclusion, it is better not to follow

this

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type of person for family and

avoiding

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to avoid

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crime. Those

people

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should not be the role model

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for

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teenagers because they do not teach any useful things to them

as well as

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leading them to walk

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down

show examples

Correct article usage

the

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wrong route.

Submitted by tom593498436 on Sun Feb 19 2023

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that entertainers are paid too much and their impact on society is negative, while others disagree and believe that they deserve the money that they make because of their positive effects on society. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

Some people think that excessive use of smart phones badly affects teenagers’ literacy skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that what children watch on television influences their behaviour. Others say that amount of time spent watching television influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give own opinion.

Some parents think children's behaviour should be strictly controlled, while other parents think children should be free to behave. Discuss both views and give examples

Some people think the government funding should not be used for supporting art and culture, others think supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?