IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

'Failure is proof that the desire wasn 't strong enough.'To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#failure #proof #desire #wasn
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Failure is an evident reason for the fact that you did not make enough attempts in order to make a dream come true. I totally agree with
this
 opinion
due to
 the reasons which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. The first reason why I agree with the above-mentioned idea is the fact that when you do not try so hard for something, you always get negative results about your desire and
this
 can lead you to the path of failure
due to
 lack of motivation. By way of example, an overweight person who wants to lose some weight but always eats pizza under no circumstance will get a good result from his diet plans. The evidence of
that is
 it can mope people on the street who have a lot of weight. Let's elaborate on more evidence about why I agree with the idea mentioned. Sometimes you go the wrong way
for getting
Change preposition
to get
show examples
 the conclusion you wish for.
For instance
, when you water plants you wait for the result which may be a flower or a tree, but somehow if you do not get the development you expected, you will definitely look back at what you have already done. You will see that you may have watered the plant so much or less than what it needed.
This
 shows that the desire was not enough.
To sum up
, as discussed in the above paragraphs I totally agree with the idea that failing to get to a goal can be a sign that you were not determined enough to reach it.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by presenting a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
Make sure to address all aspects of the task question and provide more relevant specific examples to support your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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