IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The Government should allocate more funding to teaching science than to other subjects so that the country can develop. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #science #subjects #country
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It is a common phenomenon when
majority
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the majority
a majority
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 of the
state
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 budget is not spent
for
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on
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 improving
science
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, specifically in developing countries.
Nevertheless
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, in order to ameliorate a country, the government has a responsibility to release more cost for
science
Use synonyms
 than other fields. I strongly believe in
earlier
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the earlier
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 perspective,
then
Linking Words
, in the following paragraphs, I shall elucidate my paradigm.
To begin
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 with, investing multitudinous money
for
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in
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 applied
science
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 will help the government to discover new innovations which will improve numerous aspects
in
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of
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 human life.
For instance
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, China invested countless
budget
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budgets
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 in
communication
Correct article usage
the communication
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 ecosystem many years ago,
therfore
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therefore
, nowadays,
this
Linking Words
 country holds a plethora of
licencies
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licenses
 on 4G technology.
As a result
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, people from different areas in
earlier
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the earlier
show examples
Use synonyms
state
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states
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 shall relish
advance
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advanced
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 technology when they exert the extraordinary communication system.
Additionally
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,
previous
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a previous
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policy
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policies
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 which is
representation
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a representation
the representation
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 of detailing on
science
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 can make
better
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a better
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 life for us. Turning to another point, giving attention to
the
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apply
show examples
scientific subjects like funding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medicine
researchs
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research
 may make some countries
to
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apply
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obliterate many diseases.
For example
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, a number of countries like China,
USA
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the USA
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, and
UK
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the UK
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 made vaccines to finish Covid-19
as
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apply
show examples
a pandemic couple of years ago, and it can be concluded that they invested massive
state
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 budgets
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
medicine
Replace the word
medical
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 experiments in order to create a perfect drug.
Consequently
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, they could solve
pandemic
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the pandemic
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 issue by creating communal immunity from vaccine mandatory.
Moreover
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, based on that trend will make sure that people can reach healthy life as one of
necessary
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the necessary
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 actions to improve the
state
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.
To conclude
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,
focussing
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focusing
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 huge cost
for
Change preposition
of
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teaching
science
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 can develop the country. Several outputs from previous
determination
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determinations
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such
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 as giving opportunities to the society to exert exceptional technologies and finishing problems which
area
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are
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 caused by
the
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apply
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global diseases make me stand on a position that the executive members should
to
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apply
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optimaze
Correct your spelling
optimize
science
Use synonyms
 by funding it more than the other fields.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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