Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is
Correct pronoun usage
Is
show examples
always argued by many
people
that the best way of securing a good future depends on graduating
Change preposition
from colleges
show examples
colleges
Fix the agreement mistake
college
show examples
or
utniversities
Correct your spelling
universities
,
Correct word choice
while
show examples
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
others believe that starting
work
after
school
is a better option. From my
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
, completing university is the most useful way
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
an academic
career
. On the one hand, from most
people
’s view it is more advantageous to pursue
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
higher education, and being educated after
school
is important.
Since obtaining
Change preposition
Obtaining
show examples
a
univensity
Correct your spelling
university
certificate, there will be a key to a
lat
Correct your spelling
lot
show examples
of doors
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
future businesses. Passion and commitment
needed
Add a missing verb
are needed
show examples
to study a degree course for three or more years, it
depend’s
Correct your spelling
depends
show examples
on personality but
anyway
Add a comma
,anyway
show examples
four-year education will not prevent
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our
career
. As a result, most employers will be more impressed ву candidates who have qualifications from a university than those with fewer qualifications, which in turn leads university graduates not only to better job opportunities
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
to higher incomes.
On the other hand
, it is
also
an attractive way to find
a
Remove the article
work
a job
show examples
work
after graduating
school
Change preposition
from school
show examples
years,
according to
some
people
students who started improving their personal skills after completing
school
will have the opportunity to gain hands-on experience related to their chosen profession and acquire top soft skills
such
as time management, leadership and flexibility becoming much more competitive among youngsters.
This
results in promotions and
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
show examples
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
For instance
, not only has the job market been increasingly becoming competitive, but there is
also
an overwhelming number of applicants for one position in a company.
Therefore
, it is commonly believed by some
people
that learning key soft skills can be valuable to a company and
heaving
Correct your spelling
having
show examples
relevant experience in that line of
work
, which can put
ahead
Correct pronoun usage
one ahead
show examples
of the position. In conclusion, even though
people
may vary in their opinions, I think that being in a successful
career
requires
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
relevant background either in tertiary education or
work
experience depending on
type
Add an article
the type
show examples
of
work
.
Submitted by bekzodeshonjonovv on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
What to do next:
Look at other essays: