longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people allow people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what way can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make? Write an essay to an educated reader to discuss the contribution of the older people to society. Include reasons and any relevant examples to support your answer.

These days,
people
have a more long healthy life than in the past, and the
elder
Replace the word
elderly
show examples
population over 65 years old are able to do many activities by themself. From my perspective, seniors can continue to make any useful for
society
and stay with themself
as well as
they can. In the following paragraphs, my supporting idea will be outlined in detail before the conclusion is reached. First of all, elder
people
collect more experience in all of their life which learning by doing. Youngers are able to study real-life cases to avoid doing wrong things and wasting their time.
For example
, If your grandfather used to be a businessman or business owner, it is ensured that he encounters various complex problems, you should listen to his observations
attributed
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to enhance your business idea and avoid failure.
Therefore
,
society
should educate
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
the long experience of older
people
.
In addition
, not only experient but
also
cultural knowledge is given to
society
, and the young generation is able to obtain conservative culture continuously.
For instance
, ancient
silk
sewing in Thailand will
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
disappeared recently but the Royal Thai
silk
associate collaborates with elders who are expert in sewing skills, and
then
make high value for the Thai
silk
market with ancient rare
silk
fabric.
Thus
, the senior educators can participate with other generations to keep the culture long-lasting. In conclusion, the
elder
Correct word choice
elderly
show examples
community can make more benefits and contribute to
society
through their more experience and knowhow to teaching younger.
Then
we should respect them like a teacher to lead
people
to know
such
things that they never know.
Submitted by k.kamonkan on

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Task Response
Ensure that you fully address the essay prompt and provide a clear and comprehensive response to the topic. Focus on the contribution of the older people to society and support your arguments with relevant examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your essay. Organize your ideas in a more coherent manner and use appropriate transition words to connect your points effectively.

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