longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people allow people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what way can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make? Write an essay to an educated reader to discuss the contribution of the older people to society. Include reasons and any relevant examples to support your answer.

#life #improvements #health #people #age #sixty-five #lives #society #benefit #contribution #reader #support

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These days,

people

Use synonyms

have a more long healthy life than in the past, and the

elder

Replace the word

elderly

show examples

population over 65 years old are able to do many activities by themself. From my perspective, seniors can continue to make any useful for

society

Use synonyms

and stay with themself

as well as

Linking Words

they can. In the following paragraphs, my supporting idea will be outlined in detail before the conclusion is reached. First of all, elder

people

Use synonyms

collect more experience in all of their life which learning by doing. Youngers are able to study real-life cases to avoid doing wrong things and wasting their time.

For example

Linking Words

, If your grandfather used to be a businessman or business owner, it is ensured that he encounters various complex problems, you should listen to his observations

attributed

Verb problem

apply

show examples

to enhance your business idea and avoid failure.

Therefore

Linking Words

society

Use synonyms

should educate

Change preposition

show examples

the long experience of older

people

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, not only experient but

also

Linking Words

cultural knowledge is given to

society

Use synonyms

, and the young generation is able to obtain conservative culture continuously.

For instance

Linking Words

, ancient

silk

Use synonyms

sewing in Thailand will

Verb problem

have

show examples

disappeared recently but the Royal Thai

silk

Use synonyms

associate collaborates with elders who are expert in sewing skills, and

then

Linking Words

make high value for the Thai

silk

Use synonyms

market with ancient rare

silk

Use synonyms

fabric.

Thus

Linking Words

, the senior educators can participate with other generations to keep the culture long-lasting. In conclusion, the

elder

Correct word choice

elderly

show examples

community can make more benefits and contribute to

society

Use synonyms

through their more experience and knowhow to teaching younger.

Then

Linking Words

we should respect them like a teacher to lead

people

Use synonyms

to know

such

Linking Words

things that they never know.

Submitted by k.kamonkan on Mon Feb 20 2023

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Task Response

Ensure that you fully address the essay prompt and provide a clear and comprehensive response to the topic. Focus on the contribution of the older people to society and support your arguments with relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on improving the logical structure of your essay. Organize your ideas in a more coherent manner and use appropriate transition words to connect your points effectively.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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