The table below shows the population changes of several animal types from 1977 to 1990. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#population #changes #information #features #comparisons

The number of wildlife

population

changes of bears, dolphins, and whales from 2011 to 2016 is depicted in the given line graph, the figure being mentioned in thousands.

Overall

, it can be seen that there is an upward trend in the figure for the bears' community,

while

that of dolphins experienced a downward trend. Another critical point is that the

population

changes of the bears saw the most significant change in comparison to the others. In 2011, the total of bears was the lowest among three different animal types, accounting for nearly 10

thousand

However

, those saw a surge in 2013, with nearly 100

thousand

Moreover

, the number of bears increased considerably and reached a peak in 2016 with about 170

thousand

, and it became the highest in others.

By contrast

, the figure for

dolphin

Correct article usage

the dolphin

show examples

population

in 2011 was the highest with 150

thousand

However

, those experienced a significant decrease to less than 50

thousand

in 2013 and hit a trough in 2016 with 0.

In addition

, the sum

whales

Change the noun form

whale

show examples

population

was approximately 70

thousand

in 2011. Those fluctuated throughout the period, and compared to 2011, the number of dolphins underwent a slight decrease to about 60

thousand

Submitted by mandupao on Mon Feb 20 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, thousand with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

198 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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