IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that if a country is already rich, any addition in economic wealth does not make its citizens happier. Do you agree or disagree.

#people #country #addition #wealth #citizens
There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over whether the resident’s satisfaction will not be amended if a developed
country
 becomes
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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thriving. From my viewpoint,
this
 conception has both sides.
However
, the downsides cannot overshadow its counterpart. Without a shadow of a doubt, the wealthier a developed
nation
 becomes, the more fulfilled its natives feel. To be specific, though
this
country
 became prosperous in terms of the economy, it still has a steady stream of grave matters which it does not address
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the most, especially
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health. The USA can be cited as an outstanding example.
Although
 affluent,
this
nation
 does not cover all healthcare fees of the old in the form of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal insurance.
Hence
, if a developed
nation
 is wealthier, it still makes its dwellers more satisfied.
While
 the positive impact of economic growth on citizens in these countries is widely acknowledged, it still does not make them merrier to some extent. Because when the economy of a
nation
 upsurges dramatically, it will
also
 lead to the acceleration of many kinds of costs and the financial burden of citizens, which induces an inequality
of
Change preposition
between
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 the privileged and the destitute.
For instance
, because of the economic hike
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 The USA,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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has caused
an
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inflation in terms of myriads of aspects
such
 as fuel cost,
rent
Correct word choice
and rent
show examples
, to name a few. All of them have rocketed and reached the highest figure, which not every individual in
this
country
 can pay.
Thus
, though the economic growth in a developed
country
 increases, its locals still do not feel pleased with it.
To sum up
,
while
 the economic prosperity of a
country
 brings some satisfactory influences on its locals, it still does not make them more gratified to some extent.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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