Living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

The phenomenon of
people
who live in
big
Add an article
the big
show examples
city
seems more physical problems than
people
who live in the countryside has aroused wide concern among various circles. Divergent as
people
's views on
this
issue in question may be, I disagree that urban
city
is the reason why
people
get less healthy. Of all the reasons why poor
health
and urban
city
have not
dicertly
Correct your spelling
directly
connection, probably the most significant one is that maintaining a
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
body
mainly
depand
Correct your spelling
depend
depends
on individual
health
management.
For instance
, you can imagine someone
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
and faster foods are his major diet every day. After a few years, it was easy to predict his bad physical condition.
By contrast
, someone who
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exercises every day and only
eat
Correct subject-verb agreement
eats
show examples
food that great for his
health
.
Although
he lives in a big
city
, his
body
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
stronger than others when he gets old. Another reason that should not be overlooked is that
uban
Correct your spelling
urban
Cuban
cities
have more entertainment in order to keep
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
mentally and physically healthy.
For example
, big
cities
have relatively more activities than small
cities
such
as sports clubs,
dances
Change the noun form
dance
show examples
clubs, cooking lessons, etc... More population means more
diversity
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diverse
show examples
events will be held.
People
can do want they want with their friends who have the same interests.
According to
a
Change the article
an
show examples
experimental report,
people
who feel happy and satisfied about their life is healthier than those who are not. Under
this
line of thinking, it seems to me that living in
a big
Correct the article-noun agreement
a big city
big cities
show examples
cities
is not the main reason why their
body
have
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has
show examples
a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
show examples
problems. Their bad life behaviours are the main threat to their
body
.
Therefore
, I disagree that living location will cause physical issues.
Submitted by frankyimp on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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