IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Shortage of housing has given several social consequences. Only government who can solve the problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The bar chart compares what are the things that
families
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 spent their salary on in a week between 1968 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
,
families
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 spent the most on
food
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 in both 1968 and 2018,
also
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 housing had taken a significant part in their income per week.
Moreover
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, Fuel and power always had a least spent throughout the
years
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. Household goods were the same after 50
years
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. In detail,
food
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 took a huge amount of money in
families
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 spending a week in 1968, with 35% of their income. In 2018, spending on
food
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 was moderate, not the highest like in 1968 because their divided spending for leisure and housing as well,
food
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 was only 17% and leisure was the most with over 22% of
families
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' weekly income.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the Fuel and power category was always low-spent because it was not as necessary compared to other things that
families
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 had to pay for, it only took 6% in 1968 and 4% in 2018.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Clothing and footwear was 10% in 1968 and downed to 5% in the next 50
years
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. Personal goods decreased from 7% to 4% between 1968 to 2018 as well. The only category that maintained
families
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' spending was household goods, it remained at 8% of
families
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' spending over many
years
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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