Some people think that the government should be responsible for crime prevention, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the individual to protect themselves. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #government #crime #prevention #responsibility

The

Crime

rate

this

modern world has reached

Change preposition

apply

show examples

an alarming

rate

While

some are of the opinion that government authorities should take necessary action to curb the

crime

rate

, others argue that people should take care of themselves from these crimes.

This

essay will discuss both arguments and state why

balance

Add an article

a balance

the balance

show examples

between these two arguments

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

necessary to reduce the

crime

rates. It is often believed that government has the authority to prevent criminal

acts

by implementing stringent laws.

This

means that these measures can inflict fear among the citizens to commit any unlawful

acts

Hence

, strict law enforcement can reduce

crime

rates.

Kingdom

Correct article usage

The Kingdom

show examples

of Saudi Arabia,

for instance

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

the lowest

rate

crime

because the country has one of the strictest laws against offensive activities.

This

shows that there is a strong correlation between strict law enforcement and

crime

rates.

Conversely

, some hold the belief that citizens should take necessary actions to protect themselves to reduce the risk of becoming a victim. To explain

further

, individuals should avoid activities that can lead to violence or harm.

For example

, sexual harassment or rape occurs mostly in

night clubs

Correct your spelling

nightclubs

show examples

and parties because these sexual predators know that young girls can be an easy

target

Fix the agreement mistake

targets

show examples

when they are under the influence of alcohol or drugs. These wrongful

acts

can be prevented if potential

victim

Fix the agreement mistake

victims

show examples

are being well aware of their surroundings.

This

proves that individuals being cautious can lower

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crimes.

However

, I advocate that both of these two approaches should be

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

balanced manner to

cutdown

Correct your spelling

cut down

show examples

the number of criminal activities. There are

may

Correct your spelling

many

show examples

cases where offenders can get away from punishment even with strict laws.

Furthermore

, someone can become a victim even though they are extremely careful.

Therefore

, It is necessary to have

balance

Add an article

a balance

show examples

between strict law and individual responsibility to minimize

crime

Correct article usage

the crime

show examples

rate

. In conclusion,

although

government hold the main responsibility of protecting

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

citizen from

crime

by imposing tough rules,

individual

Add an article

an individual

the individual

show examples

should be cautious and take appropriate measures to guard themselves

from

Change the preposition

against

show examples

criminal

acts

. These two approaches are crucial to build a

crime free

Add a hyphen

crime-free

show examples

society.

Submitted by mnasanjith on Tue Feb 21 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

351 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the government should be responsible for crime prevention, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the individual to protect themselves. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

university students are increasingly studinging abroad as part of their studies. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend and give your own opinion.

In the past, lectures were the traditional method of teaching large numbers of students in a classroom. Nowadays new technology is increasingly being used to teach students. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this new approach in teaching?

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Fewer young people do farming in rural areas. Why? Should young people be encouraged to do farming work?

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. Shat problem can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?