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Band 5

In many cities the population is increasing. Some say that the urbanisation process denies us knowing our neighbors, and this causes a loss of community sense. What is the main problem with this? What measures can be taken to overcome it?

#cities #population #say #urbanisation #process #neighbors #loss #community #sense #measures
There is no denying that communication between individuals plays a pivotal role in shaping modern society. There is increasing concern about
loss
Add an article
the loss
show examples
 of community sense among
people
 in big
cities
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will try to explore the main problem and provide
resolution
Correct article usage
a resolution
show examples
 to solve
this
 issue. First and foremost it is worth
to notice
Change the verb form
noticing
show examples
 that in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
big
cities
Add a comma
,cities
show examples
people
interacting
Wrong verb form
interact
show examples
 less rather than in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
. From my
perspective
Add a comma
,perspective
show examples
 the problem is that
people
 in big
cities
 don't have enough time to communicate with their
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 because
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a job
the job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 in the big
cities
 take
whole
Add an article
a whole
the whole
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 day and
people
 have more duties and responsibilities owing to
this
people
 can be frustrated and
stressful
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stressed
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 and don't have
desire
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the desire
show examples
 to communicate with
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
.
Furthermore
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,Furthermore
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due to
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of
entartaining
Correct your spelling
entertaining
 facilities in the countryside
such
 as amusement parks and cinemas,
people
 entertain themself by interacting with
Correct pronoun usage
their neighbors
show examples
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 they
inviting
Wrong verb form
invite
show examples
 each other at home more frequently rather than
people
 in
cities
.
Undoubtedely
Correct your spelling
Undoubtedly
this
 growing problem should be solved with help of
authorities
Correct article usage
the authorities
show examples
. Local authorities should conduct events on weekends in
neighborhoods
Change the spelling
neighbourhoods
show examples
. It can facilitate
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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communicate
Replace the word
communication
show examples
Change preposition
with neighbors
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neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 and know each other closer.
In
addition
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,addition
show examples
people
 should be kind to each other to create
friendly
Add an article
a friendly
show examples
 environment for interacting
amid
Change preposition
with
show examples
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
. In conclusion,
it is clear that
 communicating is
essential
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an essential
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 aspect
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 every society. Government should help to maintain
friendly
Correct article usage
a friendly
show examples
 and supportive community by
prividing
Correct your spelling
providing
 some events in
cities
.
Obviously
Add a comma
,Obviously
show examples
 it is hard for some
people
 to
Correct your spelling
regularly
regularlry
Correct your spelling
regularly
 communicate with
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 with
joint
Add an article
the joint
show examples
effort
Add a comma
,effort
show examples
 we can overcome
this
 issue in communication
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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