IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others belive that some imformation is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

#people #information #research #business #world #belive #imformation
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There are competing views on whether to share scientific
research
Use synonyms
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
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to
Change preposition
with
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public
Add an article
the public
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 freely or not. In my opinion,
people
Use synonyms
 can do both
of
Change preposition
apply
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beliefs
Correct pronoun usage
their beliefs
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 based on
researchers
Change noun form
researchers'
researcher's
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 or companies’
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
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 whether for humanity or for running
business
Correct article usage
a business
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. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will share my point of view about these opinions.
People
Use synonyms
 who think sharing
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
scientific
research
Use synonyms
information
Use synonyms
 freely
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 may concern
to
Change preposition
about
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 the discovery
for
Change preposition
of
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 human well-being. Take,
for example
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, those who want to prevent
from
Change preposition
apply
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coronavirus infection. A lot of media from different resources inform how to avoid the infection
Correct word choice
so that
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that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 public could find the
information
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 easily. I cannot imagine if the researchers do not want to give their knowledge for virus prevention freely. I believe, there will be more
people
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 dying, particularly
from
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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poor family.
On the other hand
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, others do not want to publish
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientific
research
Use synonyms
information
Use synonyms
 because they are afraid
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 knowing the formula invention. We can see the cosmetics companies compete to
atract
Correct your spelling
attract
 women to use their products.
Hence
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, they always update their knowledge to improve the products but conceal the detail of ingredients. Their discoveries are sensitive to share to prevent
the
Correct article usage
apply
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imitation from
the
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apply
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rivals. Of course, the company may do it since
the
Remove the article
apply
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their purpose
not
Add a missing verb
is not
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 for humanitarian reasons but for business.
To conclude
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, I believe, the
information
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 could be published or not depending on the
research
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 purpose.
People
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 should give
information
Use synonyms
 if it is for human well-being reasons.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they can keep secret the
information
Use synonyms
 if it is for business.
Submitted by najmi.meli on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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