IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It’s often believed that money doesn’t bring you happiness. Please explain your opinion based on your knowledge and experience.

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The relationship between
money
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 and
happiness
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 has been a subject of debate for a long time.
While
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 some people believe that
money
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 can buy
happiness
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, others argue that true
happiness
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 cannot be bought with
money
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. In
this
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 essay, I will explain my opinion on the topic based on my knowledge and experience.
Money
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 can certainly provide a temporary feeling of
happiness
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. Being able to buy things that we desire or enjoy experiences like vacations or dining out can provide us with a sense of pleasure and satisfaction.
However
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,
this
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happiness
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 is short-lived and fades away quickly. We are left wanting more and constantly striving for the next best thing, leading to an endless cycle of desire and dissatisfaction. In my opinion, true
happiness
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 comes from within, and it cannot be bought with
money
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. It is the feeling of contentment and
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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 that we experience when we are living our lives
according to
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 our values, passions, and purpose. When we are engaged in activities that we enjoy, surrounded by people we love, and living a
life
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 of meaning, we experience a sense of joy that cannot be bought with
money
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.
While
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money
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 cannot buy
happiness
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, it can certainly alleviate stress and improve the quality of
life
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. Financial security is an essential factor in our well-being, and having enough
money
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 to cover our basic needs and live a comfortable
life
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 can reduce stress and anxiety.
Money
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 can
also
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 provide access to healthcare, education, and opportunities that can enhance our quality of
life
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. In conclusion,
while
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money
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 can provide temporary
happiness
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 and improve the quality of
life
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, true
happiness
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 comes from within and cannot be bought with
money
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. It is important to remember that
money
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 is a tool that can provide us with opportunities and experiences, but it should not be the sole focus of our lives. We should strive to live a
life
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 of purpose, meaning, and joy, and prioritize the things that truly matter to us.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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