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Writing Samples
Band 6

Taking risks in both professional and personal life is important. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
Whether to take
risks
Use synonyms
 in
life
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 has become a topic of debate.
Although
Linking Words
 taking
risks
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 in personal and professional
life
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 can lead to stress and uncertainty, the positive results will make your
life
Use synonyms
 meaningful and euphoric. I think taking
risks
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 has its own drawbacks, but their outcomes are more reliable and outshines its demerits.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
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, research has shown that people who take
risks
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 in their lives can achieve their goals eventually.
For instance
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, the entrepreneurs work really hard and invest in new technologies and ideas. In the start, they faced many hurdles and rejections, but still they stuck to their plan or do some manipulative decisions and
succeed
Wrong verb form
succeeded
show examples
at the end
Linking Words
.
Secondly
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, in personal
life
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, taking
risksrisks
Correct your spelling
risks
 can encourage and broaden horizons.
For example
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, students who choose to study abroad
initially
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 can feel
daunting
Replace the word
daunted
 and lonely. But after experiencing these issues can lead to self-confidence and maturity.
Body paragraph 2
Admittedly,
risks
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 can lead to financial loss, stress, or failures, but these disadvantages are temporary and can give you great and long-term success in the future.
For instance
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, a failed business can be rearranged in a new way by changing the strategies and overcoming more hardships. The potential rewards of risk-taking surpass the drawbacks.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 taking
risks
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 in
life
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 can lead to failures and stress, the output after hurdles can lead to success and new learnings eventually. By being stagnant, no one can innovate or change their lives.
Instead
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, try, fail and try again with new efforts can reward you with greater outputs. Surely, taking
risks
Use synonyms
 outweighs the disadvantages.

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task response
State your main view more clearly in the first paragraph: the good points are greater than the bad points. Keep this same view in every body paragraph.
task response
Explain why the good results are greater, not only that they happen. For example, say that a risk may fail once, but it can give skills, new ideas, and later success.
task response
Make your examples more full. In the business example, show one clear risk, what went wrong, what the person learned, and how this led to a better result.
task response
Avoid claims that are too broad, such as saying that people who take risks will achieve their goals. Some risks fail, so use words like "may", "can", or "often".
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. To make the flow better, give each body paragraph one main point: work life in one paragraph and personal life in the next.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links between ideas, such as "However", "As a result", and "For this reason". Do not use link words only at the start; also show how one idea causes the next.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the ideas are joined in an unclear way. For example, change "But after experiencing these issues can lead to self-confidence" to "However, dealing with these issues can build self-confidence."
coherence and cohesion
Remove repeated words and keep word forms clear. For example, write "taking risks" once, not "taking risksrisks", and write "the advantages outweigh the disadvantages" in a direct way.
task response
You answer the question directly and give a clear view that risk-taking brings more good than harm.
task response
You include examples from both work life and personal life, such as business owners and students who study in another country.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, main paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as "Firstly", "Secondly", "For example", and "In conclusion" help the reader see the main parts of your answer.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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