Some people think that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing contribute more towards a child's overall development. The school curriculum should provide more time for these subjects to be taught if the school wants all-round development of children.

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Few sections of society prefer to think that
subjects
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, namely arts, music, drama and creative writing
provides
Change the verb form
provide

The singular verb provides does not appear to agree with the plural subject subjects, namely arts, music, drama and creative writing. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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more towards a
student
Change noun form
student's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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overall
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

growth.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the school syllabus should
gives
Change the verb form
give

The verb gives after the modal verb should does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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more
time
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for these
subjects
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to be taught for the purpose of
Correct article usage
the all-round

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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all-round
Correct your spelling
all-around

The word all-round doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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development of juveniles. I
partial
Replace the word
partially

The word partial doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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agree with
afore mentioned
Correct your spelling
aforementioned

The word afore mentioned seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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statement.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will substantiate my views with relevant examples followed by the conclusion. To embark with, including these creative
acivities
Correct your spelling
activities

If you don’t want acivities to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

in the syllabus have many benefits.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, these
subjects
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

require creativity and distinct imagination to
excell
Correct your spelling
excel

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, as a
concequence
Correct your spelling
consequence

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, a pupil can
deveop
Correct your spelling
develop

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different skills.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in any well-known
paintings
Add a comma
,paintings

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in any well-known paintings. Consider adding a comma.

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there is
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun imagination in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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great imagination
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker if. Consider removing the comma.

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if
student
Correct article usage
a student

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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focuses to paint creatively, in the way it thrives his thinking process.
In addition
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the student can
chose
Change the verb form
choose

The verb chose after the modal verb can does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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their carrier path in the stream that he or she has passion
on
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it allows pupils to focus more on their
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested

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subject.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are some downsides, nowadays the mother
tounge
Correct your spelling
tongue

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languages
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are being endangered
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

giving more preference to the main
academeic
Correct your spelling
academic

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subjects
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

like maths, physics,
biology
Correct word choice
and biology

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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. If the school management provides more
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to
extracurcular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
extra-curricular

If you don’t want extracurcular to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

subjects
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

there is no
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

left for
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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languages
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, these
subjects
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

become major threats to the
languages
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. To illustrate, my sister studies in
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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school that includes
advance
Replace the word
advanced

The word advance doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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subjects
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, and dance classes, and their focus is on
english
Change the capitalization
English

If you don’t want english to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

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, but they neglected
Correct article usage
the telugu
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telugu
Change the capitalization
Telugu

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language,
as a
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

result
Add the comma(s)
,result

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter as a result. Consider adding the comma(s).

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she does not know how to read or write
telugu
Change the capitalization
Telugu

If you don’t want telugu to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

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.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the creative
subjcets
Correct your spelling
subjects

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play a pivotal role to thrive
child's
Correct article usage
a child's

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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thinking ability and creativity,
besides
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it is a threat to
languages
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, I believe providing restricted
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to those
subjets
Correct your spelling
subjects

The word subjets doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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is lucrative for the children.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive skills
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Creative thinking
  • All-round development
  • Holistic approach
  • Curriculum enhancement
  • Innovative thinking
  • Emotional expression
  • Social skills
  • Cultural awareness
  • Critical thinking
  • Interdisciplinary learning
  • Balanced growth
  • Artistic endeavors
  • Experimental learning
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