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Band 7.5

Medical science has greatly lengthened the average lifespan of most people. Some think this is a positive development while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#science #lifespan #people #think #development
There is no denying the fact that the main impact of medical
research
 is debatable.
While
 it is a commonly held belief that with the
advancement
 of the medical sector, the
population
 life span has increased.
However
, some people disagree with the improvement of medical
research
. From my perspective, I strongly believe that the
advancement
 in
medicine
 that allowed people to live longer may positively affect society. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall explain why I believe
this
. On one hand, the
advancement
 in
medicine
 that increases
population
 lifespan may have more advantages for the community.
For instance
, a prestigious journal article published that 80% of successful companies reported that they have benefited most from old most experienced employees. To illustrate, medical
research
 has found many treatments for several harmful diseases.
Therefore
, the
population
 tend to live longer life which allowed the country to have more advantages from their experience. Indeed, it makes it clear that the benefits of
advancement
 in health considerably outweigh its disadvantages.
Moreover
, increasing society's lifespan may help the
population
 to learn about their tradition and heritage.
For example
, old people can educate the new
generation
 and teach them about their own country's religion and beliefs. Clearly, making the old
generation
 live a longer life can help in transmitting
of
Change preposition
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knowledge to the new
generation
.
Thus
, it becomes apparent that increasing individuals' lifespans through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new medical
research
 may positively impact the community. In conclusion, the growth in
medicine
 that helped in increasing longevity may positively impact society. In my opinion, I consider that
such
 development in
medicine
 would have more advantages for the community.
This
 is because the country will benefit more from their job experiences
as well as
 the new
generation
 can learn from them their own traditions and heritage.
Submitted by mgumssan on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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