In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the cause of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It’s not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. Do you agree or disagree?

#crime #attack #poverty #lack #opportunities #it’s #police #street #people #prison

It is undeniable that crime happens every day in each countries cause

people

to live uncomfortably. The government should be aware of and solve

this

problem.

This

issue will be examined in the following essay. Nowadays the amount of crime is increased by the most criminal come from

a poor families

Correct the article-noun agreement

poor families

a poor family

show examples

or do not get an

education

appropriately. The major cause of

this

problemproblem

Correct your spelling

problem problem

is inequality in society.

For example

the

Correct article usage

show examples

rich person will learn school that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is high-quality

due to

those

must

Correct pronoun usage

who must

show examples

spend a lot of money,

others

Correct word choice

while others

show examples

who do have not money enough will get unsuitable knowledge or don’t

get

Correct pronoun usage

itget

show examples

Moreover

, some indigent person has insufficient income make them need to steal something from other in order to live or, in the worst case, they may make violence to take

Remove the article

apply

show examples

stuff. The government should realise and manage the

education

system and so on.

For instance

, add the system of learning online

Change preposition

show examples

the school where there is not enough teacher and

providing

Wrong verb form

provide

show examples

learning equipment for children.

However

, there was resolved

education

problem but the number of crimes rise because the police were not enough to catch the bad

people

Thus

, increasing the number of police, especially in dangerous areas makes

people

feel too comfortable and reduced crime in communication. In conclusion,

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

such

as poverty and lack of educational opportunities can some

people

to become criminals. In my opinion, should improve the

education

system so everyone

to learn

Change the verb form

learns

show examples

equally because everyone will have a work and be able to live independently by not stealing things from others,and adding strict rules for catching a thief.

Submitted by nakassorn on Wed Feb 22 2023

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the cause of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It’s not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. Do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Which of the following factors is the most important when deciding to get a job? Choose one of the options below and provide specific reasons or examples. Location The opportunity to learn various work skills The possibility of a long-term career: Có khả năng làm việc lâu dài

Some people think that the best way to learn about business is to study a course at college or university. Others believe that there are other better ways to learn about business.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreing language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There is a problem with the changing rooms in the sports centre that you visit. You have complained several times but with no success. •describe what the problem with the changing rooms is • say what happened the last times you complained • explain what you want the manager to do.