Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development

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In recent years, some numbers of sick communities are no longer going to their professional

doctor

to get medical

treatment

However

, they are moving to use another

altenative

Correct your spelling

alternative

as their medical

treatment

. I agree that

this

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

development for the people in terms of reducing the usage of chemical drugs and finding an option for poor people to

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

recovery

Replace the word

recover

show examples

cheaply.

Firstly

, it is really crucial to maintain

citizen’s

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens’

show examples

health

without consuming medical drugs and capsules which are usually given by doctors. The reason is because they contain a lot of chemicals that can contribute to the

patients’

Correct your spelling

patient’s

show examples

health

problems. It can

make

Verb problem

cause

show examples

new

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

for their bodies’ condition.

For example

, my uncle who had heart problems visited his

doctor

and got some medicines that needed to be consumed; after consuming them, my uncle got some side effects affecting his respiratory system.

Secondly

, alternative

treatment

can be a solution for poor communities that have financial

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

to go to the

doctor

. Some people opine that visiting

doctor

Add an article

a doctor

the doctor

show examples

and paying for the services and the medicines are expensive. They find that it is cheaper to use herbal

drink

Fix the agreement mistake

drinks

show examples

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

recovery

Replace the word

recover

show examples

from their sickness.

In addition

, they can use the money for buying

nutrious

Correct your spelling

nutritious

food or massaging to maintain their

health

This

alternative

treatment

is another option to reduce their additional expenses regarding

health

issues.

To sum up

, traditional

treatment

can be the option and solution for communities with

health

problems to not only

Wrong verb form

prevent

show examples

preventing

Wrong verb form

prevent

show examples

the overuse of medical drugs but

also

finding

Wrong verb form

find

show examples

cheaper

Add an article

a cheaper

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

ways

show examples

way

Fix the agreement mistake

ways

show examples

to obtain recovery.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Wed Feb 22 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay needs to be organized in a more clear and logical manner. The introduction could be enhanced by providing a clear thesis statement that outlines the essay's arguments. In addition, transitions between paragraphs need to be more natural, and the main points should be backed by stronger and more detailed examples.

task achievement

The response fully addresses all parts of the task; however, the ideas presented could be extended further. Ensure that your position is clear throughout the essay and that your conclusion encapsulates your viewpoint effectively. Specific examples need to be more relevant and developed to support your arguments thoroughly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

These days, in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this? How could more people be encouraged to come into the teaching profession?

"Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up." To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that a country will benefit greatly by a high percentage of young people going to universities. Others argue that it only leads to a higher unemployment rate. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.