IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#places #people #canada #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The following bar chart illustrates three different categories of
people
Use synonyms
. Those who were born in Canada,
Use synonyms
immigrants
Add a missing verb
are immigrants
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 from English-speaking
countries
Use synonyms
 and
immigrants
Use synonyms
 from other
countries
Use synonyms
. The chart compares the places visited by these types of
people
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that all places had different fluctuations.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
theatre
Add an article
the theatre
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 was the least
favourite
Use synonyms
place
Use synonyms
 among all groups of
people
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
, cinema was the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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favourite
Use synonyms
place
Use synonyms
 visited by a group of
people
Use synonyms
 who were born in Canada,
whereas
Linking Words
theatre
Use synonyms
 was the least
favourite
Use synonyms
place
Use synonyms
 visited by the same group.
In addition
Linking Words
,
library
Correct article usage
the library
show examples
 and zoo had a fairly similar number of visitors by native
people
Use synonyms
, slightly less and over 40%, respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, similar to the native
people
Use synonyms
 of Canada,
people
Use synonyms
 from English-speaking
countries
Use synonyms
 visited
cinema
Correct article usage
the cinema
show examples
 mostly, which is more than 60%. What's more, except
theatre
Use synonyms
 that had the least number of
people
Use synonyms
 visited by
immigrants
Use synonyms
 from English-speaking
countries
Use synonyms
,
library
Correct article usage
the library
show examples
 and zoo had 40 and 50 per cent number of visitors, respectively. In the case of the
immigrants
Use synonyms
 from other
countries
Use synonyms
,
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
 was the most
favourite
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
theatre
Correct article usage
the theatre
show examples
 was the least
favourite
Use synonyms
place
Use synonyms
 visited.
Submitted by saeidabedi51 on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, immigrants, countries, theatre, favourite, place with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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