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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#places #people #canada #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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There are large differences in attendance by children in primary and secondary
schools
Use synonyms
 between industrialised and developing
countries
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. Children in the least developed
countries
Use synonyms
 were significantly less likely to attend these
schools
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 than those in more developed and industrialised
countries
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. The biggest differences came between secondary
school
Use synonyms
 enrollments for
girls
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. Only 26% in the least-developed
countries
Use synonyms
 were enrolled in secondary
school
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,
while
Linking Words
 92% in industrialised
countries
Use synonyms
 were. Coming in somewhere between these two extremes, in other developing
countries
Use synonyms
, 49% of
girls
Use synonyms
 were enrolled in secondary
schools
Use synonyms
. The smallest difference in attendance was in primary
school
Use synonyms
 enrollments by
boys
Use synonyms
. 71% of
boys
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 in the least developed
countries
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, 88% of
boys
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 in other developing
countries
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 and 95% of
boys
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 in industrialised
countries
Use synonyms
 attended primary
school
Use synonyms
. Enrollment by
girls
Use synonyms
 in primary
schools
Use synonyms
 was similar to these figures and enrollment by
boys
Use synonyms
 in secondary
schools
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 was similar to the figures for
girls
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 in secondary
schools
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. Generally, those children living in the poorest
countries
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 seem to be least likely to attend primary and secondary
school
Use synonyms
.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words schools, countries, school, girls, boys with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 3 times.
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