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Band 4.5

PEOPLE FROM CITIES GO TO UNIVERSITY MORE OFTEN THAN THOSE WHO LIVE IN THE COUNTRY. SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD MAKE IT EASIER TO ENTER UNIVERSITIES FOR PEOPLE WHO LIVE OUTSIDE CITIES AND TOWNS BY SETTING LOWER ENTRY REQUIREMENTS AND TUITION FEES. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YO AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT

#people #cities #university #country #government #universities #towns #entry #requirements #tuition #fees #yo
It is normally said that
government
 should take some steps in order to make
easy
Correct pronoun usage
it easy
show examples
 to visit
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 for those people who are from outside
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of the city and towns. I believe that it should be done to encourage
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 to get
education
Add an article
an education
show examples
 so
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree with
this
 statement.
To begin
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
 why
government
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the government
show examples
 should
should
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
make it easy, first of
all
Add the comma(s)
,all
show examples
this
 step will help reduce the illiteracy level in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
. To explain it , nowadays, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 get deprived because of no source of transportation or low level of income to visit
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
universities,
thus
,
this
 step can help them to go to universities and can get
education
Add an article
an education
the education
show examples
 which will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 on
literacy
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the literacy
show examples
 level of
nation
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the nation
a nation
show examples
.
Secondly
, there are some
studets
Correct your spelling
students
 who cannot
afford
Correct pronoun usage
itafford
show examples
. the expenditure of transportation so if
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 make it free , they can get it very
easy
Change the word
easily
show examples
.
As well as
, can
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their desires which and connected indirectly with
study
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the study
show examples
. Moving
further
,
some time
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
student
 get bored from up and down from home to college because it is very boring and tough to
travell
Correct your spelling
travel
 before doing
study
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the study
a study
show examples
 ,
as a result
,
student
get
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gets
show examples
fatigue
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fatigued
show examples
 in
body
Correct pronoun usage
their body
show examples
 but
this
 step
help
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helps
show examples
 them to get rid
from
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of
show examples
 it. Apart from it, in
this
fast paced
Add a hyphen
fast-paced
show examples
 life,
student
have
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has
show examples
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 hard to manage their time but if
government
 help them they can manage it in
very
Add an article
a very
the very
show examples
 appropriate way. To recapitulate, students have lots of problems which create
Add an article
a barrier
show examples
barrier
Fix the agreement mistake
barriers
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their universities study but
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 can help them to get
education
Add an article
an education
show examples
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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