IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

PEOPLE FROM CITIES GO TO UNIVERSITY MORE OFTEN THAN THOSE WHO LIVE IN THE COUNTRY. SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD MAKE IT EASIER TO ENTER UNIVERSITIES FOR PEOPLE WHO LIVE OUTSIDE CITIES AND TOWNS BY SETTING LOWER ENTRY REQUIREMENTS AND TUITION FEES. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YO AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT

#people #cities #university #country #government #universities #towns #entry #requirements #tuition #fees #yo
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It is normally said that
government
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 should take some steps in order to make
easy
Correct pronoun usage
it easy
show examples
 to visit
at
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apply
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university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
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 for those people who are from outside
of
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apply
show examples
of the city and towns. I believe that it should be done to encourage
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Add an article
the student
a student
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student
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students
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 to get
education
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an education
show examples
 so
i
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I
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 agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
 why
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government
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the government
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 should
should
Remove the redundancy
apply
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make it easy, first of
all
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,all
show examples
this
Linking Words
 step will help reduce the illiteracy level in
country
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the country
show examples
. To explain it , nowadays, most
of
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apply
show examples
people
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the people
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 get deprived because of no source of transportation or low level of income to visit
at
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apply
show examples
universities,
thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 step can help them to go to universities and can get
education
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an education
the education
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 which will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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 on
literacy
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the literacy
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 level of
nation
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the nation
a nation
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there are some
studets
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students
 who cannot
afford
Correct pronoun usage
itafford
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. the expenditure of transportation so if
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government
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the government
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 make it free , they can get it very
easy
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easily
show examples
.
As well as
Linking Words
, can
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
 their desires which and connected indirectly with
study
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the study
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. Moving
further
Linking Words
,
some time
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sometimes
show examples
student
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 get bored from up and down from home to college because it is very boring and tough to
travell
Correct your spelling
travel
 before doing
study
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the study
a study
show examples
 ,
as a result
Linking Words
,
student
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get
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gets
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fatigue
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fatigued
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 in
body
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their body
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 but
this
Linking Words
 step
help
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helps
show examples
 them to get rid
from
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of
show examples
 it. Apart from it, in
this
Linking Words
fast paced
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fast-paced
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 life,
student
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have
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has
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very
Correct article usage
a very
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 hard to manage their time but if
government
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 help them they can manage it in
very
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a very
the very
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 appropriate way. To recapitulate, students have lots of problems which create
Add an article
a barrier
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barrier
Fix the agreement mistake
barriers
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in
Change preposition
to
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 their universities study but
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 can help them to get
education
Add an article
an education
show examples
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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