Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

The phenomenon of the
government
spending
money
to support artistic development has aroused wide concern among various circles. Divergent as people's views on
this
issue in question may be, I totally agree that there are some things else worth investing in
besides
arts. Of all the reasons why
Correct article usage
the goverment
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
governments
should not pull
money
to help artistic development, probably the most significant one is that there are still many people
need
Correct pronoun usage
who need
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financial aid in order to support their daily
expenditure
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expenditures
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.
For example
, as the
aging
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ageing
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population problem, taking care of the elderly has always
be
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been
show examples
problem
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a problem
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because they need massive
resource
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resources
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such
as household,
money
, medical support, etc...
Therefore
, I prefer
government
should help the elderly living rather
concern
Correct word choice
than concern
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about
cultivate
Wrong verb form
cultivating
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more artistic talents. Another reason that should not be overlooked is that
government
should put
money
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
technology
enhancement for the purpose to alleviate the issue of environmental pollution.
For instance
,
due to
rapid
Correct article usage
the rapid
show examples
development of
technology
, more and more things would use electricity as an energy source.
Electric
Add an article
The electric
An electric
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vehicle is a classic example,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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can reduce the emission of carbon dioxide in turn decline
the
Correct article usage
apply
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air pollution.
However
, it costs huge
money
to replace all the
minhine
Correct your spelling
machine
to
enivornmental
Correct your spelling
environmental
friendly
technology
Hence
,
government
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the government
show examples
should spend
money
on here, so pure air would be provided for the local people and decrease climate change. Under
this
line of thinking, it seems to me that helping
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
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life and improving
technology
have noticeable results
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the community rather than wasting
money
on the arts. So, I completely agree that artistic financial aid should not be established.
Submitted by frankyimp on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
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