IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays people have to work for longer hours under stressful conditions. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Suggest the way by which the job conditions can be improved

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Many people argue that workers have become more and more stressed in their workplaces with longer working hours. In my view, I totally agree with
this
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 statement because of a realistic reason,
along with
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 two suggestions which might be able to improve the situation.
First,
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in order to maintain their living standard, citizens need to
work
Use synonyms
 harder to earn more money. Not only is inflation getting higher and higher in some developed nations
such
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 as Britain, but
also
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 society is becoming more competitive because of an increasing number of teenagers holding higher academic achievement. Workers, especially those who are not in favour of the stock market for earning extra money, may put more effort into
work
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, creating great value and proving that they are still "worthy" of a company.
Therefore
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, they may think that there is full of stress and anxiety. Obviously, if a person lives in
this
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 situation for a long period, it is definitely unhealthy both mentally and physically. The government is able and capable
to implement
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of implementing
show examples
 some regulations to control it.
For example
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, standard labour time may be an effective way to improve the issue, giving a scientific reference for employers to regulate employees' working hours.
Furthermore
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, a "worker-friendly" environment can be created by employers themselves. Managers can listen to staff's opinions actively, and, in doing so, change the company's policies if necessary.
Finally
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, subordinators can
work
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 in a relatively comfortable working circumstance, getting a higher sense of belonging. In summary, the underlying cause of
this
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 issue is a financial matter. If the government and employers can
work
Use synonyms
 together, it can be improved apparently.

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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, some of the main points could be further developed to improve the overall structure.
task response
The response addresses the task adequately and presents clear and comprehensive ideas, supported by relevant examples. However, the essay could benefit from further development and elaboration of the main points to fully meet the requirements of the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • stressful conditions
  • technological advancement
  • competitive work environments
  • work-life balance
  • flexible work hours
  • wellness programs
  • culture of appreciation
  • remote work
  • unnecessary workloads
  • job satisfaction
  • regular breaks
  • productivity
  • time management
  • stress resilience
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