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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows participation in certain leisure activities by children in Australia. Write a report for university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The chart below shows participation in certain leisure activities by children in Australia. Write a report for university lecturer describing the information shown below.
#participation #leisure #activities #children #australia #report #university #lecturer #information
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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of activities 5-14-years-olds do in their free time.
Overall
Linking Words
, Watching TV is the leader of activities for both genders.
Boys
Use synonyms
 tend to do more activities during their free time
except
Add the preposition
forexcept
show examples
art
Use synonyms
 and watching TV. For the girls, skateboarding is the
last
Linking Words
 one and the
boys
Use synonyms
 do skateboarding and
art
Use synonyms
 for the same amount of participation and these are the least ones for the
boys
Use synonyms
. The
boys
Use synonyms
 participate 100 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in watching television and computer games are the second one with 80 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of participants.
Linking Words
Last
Correct article usage
The last
show examples
 one for the
boys
Use synonyms
 is
art
Use synonyms
 and skateboarding with 40 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Boys
Use synonyms
 are participating more than girls nearly 10 per
cent
Use synonyms
 for each activity
besides
Linking Words
art
Use synonyms
 and watching videos.
However
Linking Words
, the girls same as
boys
Use synonyms
 100 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of them participate the watching tv activity. They are participating more than nearly 15 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in
art
Use synonyms
 and craft.Skateboarding is the least with 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of participants.
Submitted by erenar3 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, art, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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