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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the amounts of waste produced by threecompanies over a period of 15 years.

The line graph illustrates how much
waste
Use synonyms
 was released by three companies between 2000 and 2015.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the
waste
Use synonyms
output
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 of the three companies changed considerably. Both A and
B
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 companies witnessed a decrease in their amount of
waste
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 in these years,
while
Linking Words
company
Use synonyms
C
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’s
waste
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output
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 increased significantly. In 2000,
Use synonyms
waste
Correct article usage
the waste
show examples
 production of
company
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 A was
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
, at 12
tonnes
Use synonyms
,
company
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B
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 released around 8
tonnes
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 and the
waste
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output
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 of
company
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C
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 produced about 4
tonnes
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. Over the next 5 years, there was a sharp rise in the amounts of
waste
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 of
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company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
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B
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 and
C
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, increasing by around 2
tonnes
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
company
Use synonyms
 A’s
waste
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 production decreased
approximately
Change preposition
by approximately
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
11
tonnes
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. From 2005 to 2015,
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company
Change the capitalization
Company
show examples
C
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 cut
waste
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output
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 by nearly 4
tonnes
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.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
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company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 A and
B
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’s
waste
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 production fell by 3
tonnes
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 and 7
tonnes
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 respectively over the same ten years period. By 2015,
company
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 A had reduced
waste
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output
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 by around 8
tonnes
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 and the amount of
waste
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 produced by
company
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B
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 had dropped by 3
tonnes
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,
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company
Change the capitalization
Company
show examples
C
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 had increased
waste
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output
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 by approximately 10
tonnes
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words waste, output, b, company, tonnes, c with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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