IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:" Advances in technology have made people happier than they were before."? Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

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In today's fast-paced world, technological advancements have undeniably transformed our lives in countless ways.
While
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 some argue that these developments have brought about greater happiness, others believe they have introduced new challenges. Personally, I agree with the statement that advances in
technology
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 have made
people
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 happier than they were before, and I will discuss my reasons with specific examples below.
Firstly
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,
technology
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 has significantly improved the quality of life by simplifying everyday tasks.
For instance
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, household appliances
such
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 as washing machines, dishwashers, and smart home systems save time and effort, allowing
people
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 to focus on more meaningful activities like spending time with family or pursuing hobbies.
Additionally
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, tools like smartphones and online shopping platforms provide convenience and reduce stress, making day-to-day living much easier compared to the past.
Secondly
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, technological innovations have revolutionized communication, making it possible for
people
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 to stay connected regardless of distance.
For example
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, video conferencing platforms like Zoom and messaging apps like WhatsApp enable families and friends living in different countries to communicate instantly.
This
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 was unimaginable a few decades ago when letters or expensive international calls were the only options.
Such
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 advancements have strengthened relationships and provided emotional support, contributing to
overall
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 happiness.
However
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, it is essential to acknowledge that
technology
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also
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 has its downsides. Overuse of social media,
for instance
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, can lead to issues like addiction and feelings of isolation.
Nevertheless
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, these challenges can be mitigated by promoting healthy digital habits and ensuring a balanced lifestyle. In conclusion,
while
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technology
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 comes with its own set of drawbacks, I firmly believe that its positive impact on convenience, communication, and
overall
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 quality of life outweighs the negatives. By using
technology
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 wisely,
people
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 can experience greater happiness and a more fulfilling life than ever before.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Although the essay is well-structured, adding more transitions between paragraphs can improve flow and cohesion. Consider using linking phrases to guide the reader through your argument more clearly.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively addresses the prompt, but exploring counterarguments in more depth can enhance the task response. Recognizing and elaborating on potential downsides of technology could provide a more rounded perspective.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the argument well. The introduction sets the context, and the conclusion reinforces the main points.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples, such as mentioning Zoom and WhatsApp, strengthens the argument and demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
The response is complete and covers the main aspects of the question, offering a solid opinion supported by reasons and examples.
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