“A lot of people believe that the amount of violence shown on TV and in the cinema affects the actions of our young people and therefore increases the amount of violence in our society today. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? What can be done to reduce violence in our society today?“

#“a #people #amount #violence #tv #cinema #actions #increases #society

Nowadays, most movies involve cruel scenes and

therefore

our generation considers those actions as the right attitude. What's more, many of them have idols and follow their actions who in fact, do not belong to good characters. I totally agree that the influence of the media is huge on our youngsters since they are not able to detect what is the right or wrong thing to do personally I believe that lessons from

parents

and teachers about kind treatment could partly solve the situation. First of all, students fighting with each other becomes a common situation and no one tries to integrate and calm them down but rather they enjoy watching the fight if a decade ago they used to have a strong friendship afterwards, these days they have even more tight relationship, a solution for

that is

having additional lessons at school that teaches about manners and behaviour.

Secondly

, crimes are shown a lot on social media like robbery or entering someone's house without being noticed and young teenagers consider these actions as inspiring and start making plans but real life considerably differs from movies and the consequence are more serious

such

as jail or corporal punishment I believe that steps should be taken by governments as

parents

like regulating information that's being shown on TV and

parents

restricting access to certain tv programs as long as kids are grown. In conclusion, I totally agree that the influence of tv is a lot unless measures are taken by

parents

and the government as controlling mass media and well treatment the situation will get worse

Submitted by Abdu.abetayev on Fri Feb 24 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

in some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

More and more families are choosing fast food over home-cooked meals. What are the reasons for this and how can they be addressed?

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleeo?

In recent years, many governments have brought in laws to ban smoking in public places, such as bars, restaurants and offices. To what extend do you agree or disagree with banning smoking in public places?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+