IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe the media should be allowed to publish private information about people, while others are against it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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On one hand, supporters of
media
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 publishing private
information
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 argue that it serves the public interest. In certain cases, revealing private details can shed light on important issues,
such
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 as corruption or illegal activities by public figures.
For example
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, journalists who expose personal
information
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 about politicians involved in scandals can inform the public and hold them accountable for their actions.
Furthermore
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, transparency in the
media
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 can help protect citizens from harmful or dangerous individuals. Advocates claim that the
media
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's role is to inform society, and sometimes
this
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 means disclosing private facts for the greater good.
On the other hand
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, opponents of publishing private
information
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 argue that it violates individuals' privacy rights and can lead to significant harm. Everyone, regardless of their public status, has the
right
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 to keep their personal lives private, and violating
this
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right
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 can cause emotional distress and damage to their reputation. In many cases, the publication of private
information
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 can be sensationalized and used for entertainment rather than genuine reporting.
This
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 can lead to a lack of accuracy and the spreading of misinformation.
For instance
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, the
media
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 often publishes celebrity gossip or personal scandals, which do not contribute to public knowledge or benefit society in any meaningful way. In my opinion,
while
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 the
media
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 should have the
right
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 to report on matters of public interest, it should
also
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 respect individuals'
right
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 to privacy. There should be a balance between transparency and protecting personal lives. The
media
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 should be held accountable for how they handle private
information
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, ensuring it is published only when it serves the public good and not for sensationalism or profit. In conclusion,
while
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 some believe the
media
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 should have the freedom to publish private
information
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, others believe it should be limited to protect individual privacy. Personally, I think there should be strict guidelines to ensure that private
information
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 is only shared when it truly serves a legitimate public interest.

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task achievement
Your introduction presents the topic well and outlines the two sides of the argument effectively. To improve further, consider explicitly stating your opinion in the introduction for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
The body paragraphs are logically structured and clearly present both sides of the argument. However, adding more transitions between points could enhance readability and flow.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, but a few more concrete examples, particularly from real-life situations, would strengthen your arguments further.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument before giving your own opinion, which is commendable.
task achievement
Your conclusion summarizes the key points effectively and reiterates your opinion, providing a solid ending to the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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