Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?
Being overweight is becoming more widespread to many people these days.
This
essay will examine the causes as well as
the main effects related to this
tendency.
There are a variety of different causes for this
matter. To begin
with, consuming unhealthy processed foods is a significant contributing factor to the prevalence of excessive fat accumulation in contemporary societies. These food products are indeed known to contain high levels of saturated fat, salt and sugar but low in proteins which are considered the main reason for obesity. For example
, many children nowadays favour fast food and may even choose restaurants like McDonald’s or KFC to celebrate their birthdays. This
preference for such
foods, along with
sugary drinks and snacks has led to an outstanding rate of obesity in children recently. Another contributing factor to mention is that a sedentary lifestyle with few physical activities can lead to lower energy needs and make it easier to gain weight
. For example
, as an office worker, I rarely have time for a workout due to
my busy schedule and long hours of sitting. This
has led to a situation where I find it too challenging to lose weight
and effortless to gain weight
.
Unexpectedly, there are some serious effects that should be taken into consideration. The first and most important is that being overweight could increase the risk of a number of diseases. For instance
, according to
a WHO report, obesity-related ill-health such
as diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and so on accounted for 5 million deaths globally in 2019, which is an alert for everybody to pay more attention to having a healthier habit in their life. Another effect no less important is that it could impact mental health, including low self-esteem. For example
, one of my colleagues always feels unconfident about her body figure or weight
and often avoids social gatherings in the company. As a result
, she has some limits in teamwork projects, which affects her productivity to some extent.
In conclusion, being overweight is an issue that affects a lot of people nowadays. It’s mainly caused by improper diet and lack of exercise. From what has been discussed, this
may lead to some serious consequences for both physical and mental health. It is advised that we should focus on making positive changes to our lifestyle such
as eating a balanced diet and engaging in regular fitness training.Submitted by yeshomeclass on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure, as you have organized your ideas into paragraphs, each focusing on different aspects of the causes and effects of overweight. However, consider creating more sophisticated transitions between these ideas to enhance the flow of information. Your introduction and conclusion are present and summarize the main points, but try to make them more impactful by including a stronger thesis statement and a more memorable final thought.
task achievement
You have addressed the task well by discussing both the causes and effects of being overweight. Your ideas are relevant, and you have provided clear examples to illustrate your points. To improve, work on developing your ideas further by providing a more in-depth analysis of these causes and effects. Moreover, to reach higher scores, aim for a more nuanced discussion that acknowledges the complexity of the issue, and perhaps also provides some potential solutions.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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