Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?
Being overweight is becoming more widespread to many people these days.
This
essay will examine the causes Linking Words
as well as
the main effects related to Linking Words
this
tendency.
There are a variety of different causes for Linking Words
this
matter. Linking Words
To begin
with, consuming unhealthy processed foods is a significant contributing factor to the prevalence of excessive fat accumulation in contemporary societies. These food products are indeed known to contain high levels of saturated fat, salt and sugar but low in proteins which are considered the main reason for obesity. Linking Words
For example
, many children nowadays favour fast food and may even choose restaurants like McDonald’s or KFC to celebrate their birthdays. Linking Words
This
preference for Linking Words
such
foods, Linking Words
along with
sugary drinks and snacks has led to an outstanding rate of obesity in children recently. Another contributing factor to mention is that a sedentary lifestyle with few physical activities can lead to lower energy needs and make it easier to gain Linking Words
weight
. Use synonyms
For example
, as an office worker, I rarely have time for a workout Linking Words
due to
my busy schedule and long hours of sitting. Linking Words
This
has led to a situation where I find it too challenging to lose Linking Words
weight
and effortless to gain Use synonyms
weight
.
Unexpectedly, there are some serious effects that should be taken into consideration. The first and most important is that being overweight could increase the risk of a number of diseases. Use synonyms
For instance
, Linking Words
according to
a WHO report, obesity-related ill-health Linking Words
such
as diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and so on accounted for 5 million deaths globally in 2019, which is an alert for everybody to pay more attention to having a healthier habit in their life. Another effect no less important is that it could impact mental health, including low self-esteem. Linking Words
For example
, one of my colleagues always feels unconfident about her body figure or Linking Words
weight
and often avoids social gatherings in the company. Use synonyms
As a result
, she has some limits in teamwork projects, which affects her productivity to some extent.
In conclusion, being overweight is an issue that affects a lot of people nowadays. It’s mainly caused by improper diet and lack of exercise. From what has been discussed, Linking Words
this
may lead to some serious consequences for both physical and mental health. It is advised that we should focus on making positive changes to our lifestyle Linking Words
such
as eating a balanced diet and engaging in regular fitness training.Linking Words
Submitted by yeshomeclass on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure, as you have organized your ideas into paragraphs, each focusing on different aspects of the causes and effects of overweight. However, consider creating more sophisticated transitions between these ideas to enhance the flow of information. Your introduction and conclusion are present and summarize the main points, but try to make them more impactful by including a stronger thesis statement and a more memorable final thought.
task achievement
You have addressed the task well by discussing both the causes and effects of being overweight. Your ideas are relevant, and you have provided clear examples to illustrate your points. To improve, work on developing your ideas further by providing a more in-depth analysis of these causes and effects. Moreover, to reach higher scores, aim for a more nuanced discussion that acknowledges the complexity of the issue, and perhaps also provides some potential solutions.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?