You will go to a foreign country to stay there for one year, and you need a place to live in. You have decided to write to an agency for accommodation.

#country #year #place #agency #accommodation

Good afternoon, dear sir/madam. My name is Anastasia, I'

working in the "Move" company with the head office in New York, and I have been moved here, to our Canadian office, for one year. I obtained your email address from our HR division, and I'

writing

this

letter with the purpose of asking for your help in finding an apartment for me. First of all, let me, please, describe an apartment which I'

looking for. I am thinking about a

1or

Correct your spelling

1- or

2-bedroom condo, preferably in the

Down Town

Correct your spelling

downtown

show examples

area, fully furnished and equipped. If it's possible, I'll be glad to have built-in laundry.

Moreover

, I need a pet-friendly apartment, because of my cat, which will move with me.

Secondly

, I'll be glad to have a park view from my windows,

however

, it may be any pond. I mean, I really don't want to see my neighbours on the opposite side.

Furthermore

, I need your help with the car rental, because I'

interested to travel in your beautiful country;

therefore

I desperately need to have a garage in the building. Thanks in advance. Looking forward to hearing from you. Best regards, Anastassia.

Submitted by anastasia on Tue Aug 27 2024

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mechanics

Ensure consistency in spacing; there's a slight spacing issue near '1or 2-bedroom'.

content

Consider adding more specific details about the rental period and budget to enhance clarity.

style

Avoid redundancy (e.g., 'down town' can be streamlined).

tone

The tone is formal and appropriate for the context, showing respect and professionalism.

content

The letter provides clear details about the accommodation requirements, making it easier for the agency to assist.

structure

The greeting and closing are polite and well-constructed, adding to the overall impression of the letter.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

191 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You will go to a foreign country to stay there for one year, and you need a place to live in. You have decided to write to an agency for accommodation.

in some cultures children are often told that they can achive everything if they try hard. what are the advantages and disadvantages?

In recent years the family structures have changed as well as the family roles. What are the changes that are occouring. What do you think can be done to mend it?

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and news events. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

After graduating from high school, some young people decide to start working right away instead of going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this?

Many people think that students should be allowed to choose the subject that they study in school, whereas others feel that they should choose the curriculum. Discuss both views and give your opinion.