IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say advertising is extremely successful at persuading customers to buy. Others think customers do not get influenced because ads are common. Discuss both & give your opinion.

#people #customers #ads
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Many
people
Use synonyms
nowadys
Correct your spelling
nowadays
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 are more
interasted
Correct your spelling
interested
 in working for themselves rather than working as
an employees
Correct the article-noun agreement
an employee
employees
show examples
 for a company. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will address both causes and
disadvanages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 of
such
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 a topic and I will give
relvent
Correct your spelling
relevant
 examples.
To Begin
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, in the matter of the causes that
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 prefer self-employee. there are several
cause
Change to a plural noun
causes
show examples
,but the most important ones are .
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is more
compfert
Correct your spelling
comfort
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 individuals are
more free
Replace the words
freer
show examples
 in their lives.
For example
Linking Words
, they can go to
work
Use synonyms
 whenever they want since they do not need the
permesion
Correct your spelling
permission
 of their boss because they are the boss of themselves.
Secondly
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, it
Add a missing verb
is worths
show examples
worths
Replace the word
worth
show examples
 all the hard
work
Use synonyms
thay
Correct your spelling
they
 make in their jobs as all the profits go to their
bockets
Correct your spelling
pockets
buckets
 rather than another person.
However
Linking Words
,
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 are some cons to
this
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 ,which can be
outweighted
Correct your spelling
outweighed
 by several actions.
moreover
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, the main disadvantages are .Private
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
,
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
 some amount of
mony
Correct your spelling
money
 which some
people
Use synonyms
 may not have .
Additionally
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, every private business can face the
dainger
Correct your spelling
danger
dangers
 of failing because of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different factors
such
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 as the owner may not have enough
experienc
Correct your spelling
experience
 to
maneg
Correct your spelling
manage
 it or they do not have the courage to take a risk from time to time .
To conclude
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to
work
Use synonyms
 in
private
Add an article
the private
show examples
 sector for themselves in order to have more freedom in their lives .which is better than working under
Correct article usage
the suppervesion
show examples
suppervesion
Correct your spelling
supervision
 of a
maneger
Correct your spelling
manager
,who will control them.
furthermore
Linking Words
, they can earn more
mony
Correct your spelling
money
 if they
work
Use synonyms
 hard ,and show some
comentments
Correct your spelling
commitment
to their business.
Submitted by mohmmadloaa95 on

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