9.In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from the health problem as a result of eating too much junk food. It is therefore necessary for government to impose a higher tax or this kind of food.
The
significant number of Correct article usage
A
people
are suffering from eating fast food
so that
they have health problems. In Correct word choice
apply
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
i
will write Change the capitalization
I
some
issues which caused because of consuming unhealthy Change preposition
about some
nurtritiens
and Correct your spelling
nutritious
nutrition
decision
which can save Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
this
problem.
Overall
, the
obesity Correct article usage
apply
of
teenagers and Change preposition
among
aduls
Correct your spelling
adults
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
the
popular disease in society and Correct article usage
a
then
different kinds of illnesses which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
occured
as a Correct your spelling
occurred
occur
occurs
results
of Correct the article-noun agreement
result
such
harmful for health lifesyle
. In my Correct your spelling
lifestyle
opinin
, if Correct your spelling
opinion
opinin'
people
have a knowledge
about Remove the article
knowledge
a piece of knowledge
a
possible Correct article usage
the
effect
of eating fast Fix the agreement mistake
effects
food
, they will stop to consume it. On the other hand
, if government
make a programme which Add an article
the government
develop
building more healthy and organic Change the verb form
develops
food
constructions, inhabitans
will tend to eat it Correct your spelling
inhabitants
instead
of junk food
.
Fisr
of all, many young children love to eat fast Correct your spelling
First
food
and adolecents
who do not have enough time to cook and energy after Correct your spelling
adolescents
tired
working day choose to deliver Correct article usage
a tired
food
so all of them have very
bad diet. Add an article
a very
In other words
, nowadays people
prefer do
not Unnecessary verb
apply
waste
time but it leads to the majority of issues which are stomach illness, heart disease, Fix the infinitive
to waste
obesity
. Correct word choice
and obesity
For example
, the
recent research showed that in the USA inhabitants had been in hospitals because of Correct article usage
apply
Correct article usage
an unpropriate
unpropriate
diet so Correct your spelling
inappropriate
unappropriate
appropriate
that
these Correct word choice
apply
people
were more weak
in Replace the words
weaker
realition
Correct your spelling
relation
realisation
of
Change preposition
to
desease
than others who had a healthy lifestyle.
Correct your spelling
disease
Therefore
, the minisrty
of health in every country should pay attention and each person should take responsibility for Correct your spelling
Ministry
own
life and start Correct pronoun usage
their own
his own
her own
consume
Change the form of the verb
consuming
an
organic Correct article usage
apply
nutritien
. It means that, if the whole country Correct your spelling
nutrition
pass
a bill about it, other humans will try to keep Change the verb form
passes
this
position. For instance
, in Japan
the government decided to take Add a comma
,Japan
a
legislation which Remove the article
apply
ban
eating too much junk Change the verb form
bans
food
and it helped them to be healthy and fit.
In conclusion, if persons
try to solve Replace the word
people
such
kind of disease with
making Change preposition
by
special
Correct article usage
a special
method
or Fix the agreement mistake
methods
law
and Fix the agreement mistake
laws
persuade
the nation that it is a huge disaster, every human will avoid consuming junk diet.Wrong verb form
persuading
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.