Some people claim that life in a big cities is dangerous for health. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #life #cities #health

The problem of whether or not big

cities

are bad for health sparked a heated debate.

While

some argue that megapolises don't

have

Verb problem

pose

show examples

a danger to humanity, I contend that those

cities

have a huge impact on our organisms and lifestyle. There are two main reasons why living in big

cities

is irrelevant to society. One of them is that megapolises establish a

big

Correct word choice

large

show examples

number of factories and plants.

This

phenomenon has a negative influence on our lungs and skin. Another cogent reason is products which are sold in supermarkets are not healthy and are sometimes dangerous for

consuming

Replace the word

consumption

show examples

. Big

cities

don't have an opportunity to grow up fresh vegetables and fruits and because of that they should make artificial products with the addiction to drugs.

For instance

according to

the

statics

Correct your spelling

statistics

show examples

of the Worldwide Health Community seventy per cent of city dwellers die from lung cancer. I personally believe that living in the countryside and suburbs are relatively positive for several reasons with the one being nature and clean air.

In addition

, existence in villages is more pleasant.

Also

, products

such

as vegetables and fruits are more affordable in these places. Countrysides have great conditions for growing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a crop.

To conclude

, dwelling in big

cities

would lead to a negative impact on health, especially in factories and plants which make the air dirty and dangerous.

However

, recognizing the importance of the

big

Correct word choice

large

show examples

number of diseases it is advisable to encourage the government to be attentive and serious about

this

problem.

Submitted by abay.serikov on Fri Feb 24 2023

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coherence cohesion

Improve the structure of the essay by organizing the ideas in a more logical and coherent manner. Provide a clear and focused introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

Address the task more directly by providing a balanced discussion of both views and clearly expressing your opinion. Provide relevant and specific examples to support your points.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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