Experts say older people were happier and healthier in past because they did exercise and spent more time with their family and friends , whereas many now suffer from lonliness and health problems . What are the causes of this and reasons

#experts #people #exercise #time #friends #lonliness #health

Many scholars opine that the older generation used to be more pleasant and healthful as compared to the present where isolation and diseases have prevailed among them.

This

essay will be shedding light on the causes behind

this

issue.

To begin

with, the major reason is the formation of nuclear families as people used to live in large families with more support and love when older people were looked after by young family members which

lead

Wrong verb form

led

show examples

to their healthy lifestyle.

Furthermore

, grandparents love to live among their grandchildren which used to be the reason for their happiness.

For example

, they do not feel lonely if they get to spend quality time with the kids. Their blissfulness comes from minor acts

such

as watching children play and taking care of them.

On the contrary

, these days, lost connection with keth and kins leads to solitude and unhealthy habits. Most of the adults adapted to the hectic work schedule,

Consequently

, they barely get time for themselves which results in separation from their parents and can be the reason to move to old age homes where they feel isolated from their loved ones which leads to poor health and depression. As an illustration, an old person living with his own family tends to be happier than a person spending his life in senior aide homes. Conclusively, detachment from acquaintances is the root cause of

this

escalating problem,

However

, It is not insurmountable and can easily be resolved by shoving the importance of having an experienced

person

Add an article

the person

a person

show examples

at home in the minds of younger folks.

Submitted by dilprt.kaur00 on Fri Feb 24 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, but there's a bit of a struggle in maintaining a logical flow of ideas. Ensure smooth transitions between ideas by using suitable linking words and phrases. The arguments could be more persuasive if they were more logically structured and clearly connected to each other.

task achievement

You've managed to deliver a comprehensive response to the task, supporting your points with relevant examples. Make sure your arguments and examples are as clear and detailed as possible to maximise your score. The examples can be more specific and realistic, improving the overall quality of the essay.

lexical resource

Your vocabulary is reasonably varied, but there's always room for enhancement. Try to include more less common words and phrases, but only if they fit naturally in the context. Also, avoid word repetition and maintain formality throughout.

grammatical range

Using a wider range of grammatical structures will definitely add complexity to your writing. This will not only improve the quality of your essay but also enhance its readability. Pay close attention to the correct usage of grammar and punctuation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
technological reliance
urbanization
work-life balance
family dynamics
lengthy longevity
quality of life
social isolation
digital divide
cultural values
communal living
processed foods
dietary changes
mental health
elderly well-being

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message.
Some cultures encourage children to try hard for their dreams to make them true. Although being passionate can make children achieve their goals, it can have some negative impacts on their lives. This essay will discuss the merits and demerits of this belief and draw some conclusions.
7
band
Some think that the best way to stay fit is to join gym. while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is enough. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In the modern days, many people believe that the most effective way to keep healthy and sporty is going to a gym, while others believe that it is not actually a necessity. Also, gyms are proven to make people and their bodies both look good and feel fit at the same time. It is disagreed that the daily chores are enough for folks to stay in shape. Analyzing the noticeable differences between those who often train in a gym and those who just do the daily efforts such as walking and stair climbing will further prove this statement.
5.5
band
Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Video provides a powerful way to help you prove your point. When you click Online Video, you can paste in the embed code for the video you want to add. You can also type a keyword to search online for the video that best fits your document. To make your document look professionally produced, Word provides header, footer, cover page, and text box designs that complement each other. For example, you can add a matching cover page, header, and sidebar. Click Insert and then choose the elements you want from the different galleries. Themes and styles also help keep your document coordinated. When you click Design and choose a new Theme, the pictures, charts, and SmartArt graphics change to match your new theme. When you apply styles, your headings change to match the new theme. Save time in Word with new buttons that show up where you need them.
6.5
band
You are bothered by the amount of trash in your local park.Write a letter to the head of the city park department .In your letter: • Describe the problem with the trash • Explain why it is a problem • Say what you think the city should do.
This is to call your attention to the amount of trash in the park. I have noticed this for a while now as I love to go to the park most evenings with my kids to enjoy it’s nature and beauty. It’s been drawing lots of attention to birds and cats which eventually spread it all over the environment thereby making it impossible to relax or take a walk in.
7.5
band
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
In some nations, people are getting heavier and standards of health and well-being are falling. This essay will suggest that the principal cause of these issues is the type of nourishment they are eating and submit a government education program as a viable solution, followed by a reasoned conclusion.

Experts say older people were happier and healthier in past because they did exercise and spent more time with their family and friends , whereas many now suffer from lonliness and health problems . What are the causes of this and reasons

Fully explain your ideas

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message.

Some think that the best way to stay fit is to join gym. while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is enough. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

You are bothered by the amount of trash in your local park.Write a letter to the head of the city park department .In your letter: • Describe the problem with the trash • Explain why it is a problem • Say what you think the city should do.

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?