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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecast.   Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecast.   Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
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The graphic illustrates the process of transmitting data in producing a dependable
weather
forcecast
Correct your spelling
forecast
 in Australia.
Overall
, the process begins with collecting
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 from the satellite, radar and buoy.
Thereafter
, the
datas
Correct your spelling
data
 are
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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analysed and
broadcasted
Wrong verb form
broadcast
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
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 the public for a reliable news report.
To begin
 with, the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects data from different sources
such
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
satellite, radar and drifting
buoy
Fix the agreement mistake
buoys
show examples
. Meanwhile, the
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 gathered are being transmitted for study and forecasting with the
used
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use
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 of satellite photo, radar screen and
sypnotic
Correct your spelling
hypnotic
synoptic
 chart.
In addition
, the
weather
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 that are predicted
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 being prepared for
disseminating
Replace the word
dissemination
show examples
.
Moreover
, once the
weather
 forecast is ready for broadcasting it is spread via showing
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
television, airing
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the radio and recording
announcement
Fix the agreement mistake
announcements
show examples
. The attested
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 for
weather
 forecasting in Australia
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 done through these processes.
Submitted by namlaemy on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words weather, informations with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "informations" was used 4 times.
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