There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Many people
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
that having a high salary is the main essential reason to keep them motivated to do and stay in their occupation. I strongly disagree with
this
perspective, and I suppose that job satisfaction and a supportive work environment are much more imperative aspects to maintaining people's motivation for doing their employment. Having a profession that we are passionate about can help us achieve a sense of job satisfaction.
In addition
, if we have a good understanding of what we do it can
also
assist us to tackle the problem that we face in the workplace and turn it into something that can make us feel more motivated.
For example
, scientists love to do many experiments in order to invent a novel, even though they have to face some errors
while
doing
this
and feel more motivated
instead
because it is something that they are interested in.
Consequently
, they will enjoy doing consistently and achieving their goals.
In addition
, a supportive workplace
also
matters. Many employees feel unmotivated and intimidated because of their toxic colleagues.
Moreover
, having a feeling of working under pressure
also
reduces people's motivation to do their work. The research shows that many corporate employees choose to resign from their company
due to
unhealthy work circumstances even though they achieve
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
amount of wages.
Therefore
, earning a lot of money is not merely the reason the workers keep them resilient in their duties.
To conclude
, having a profession that gives you a sense of job satisfaction
as well as
provides a nice office atmosphere are the most essential aspects to make employees
keep
Verb problem
apply
show examples
motivated.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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task response
Ensure that each body paragraph contains a clear topic sentence and supports the main argument effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to create a smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • basic needs
  • career advancement
  • pension
  • job satisfaction
  • sense of purpose
  • social connections
  • workplace relationships
  • intellectual stimulation
  • societal norms
  • earning potential
  • motivation
  • livelihood
  • financial independence
  • professional growth
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