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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Television sports shows such as Olympic are a good source of motivation for youths who do not like to exercise much. To you agree or disagree?

#television #sports #olympic #source #motivation #youths #exercise
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It is widely claimed that some youths nowadays tend to watch sports shows because it is a great motivation for those who rarely exercise. My reason why I agree with
this
 statement will be elaborated on in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, in
this
 day and ,age it is hard for the young generations to work out
due to
 the rise of technology that
interaction
Replace the word
interacts
show examples
 with
human
Add an article
a human
the human
show examples
 being more.
Therefore
, it is inevitable that spending less time
outdoor
Replace the word
outdoors
show examples
 or at fitness had been decreasing presently.
However
, technological advancement brings various programs to
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
 generation and
this
 can stimulate some of them to
workout
Correct your spelling
work out
show examples
 more as they can absorb the prime example from the players. Interestingly, streaming media plays a crucial role in
teenager's
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers'
show examples
 lifestyles regardless of what kind of programs they are interested
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
 Studies have shown that in China, government monitors the young generation to watch Olympic shows during their school break. As the result, the number of gym memberships in China had
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
grown after that.
To simply
Change preposition
Simply
show examples
 explain, watching their favourite athlete on television is able to motivate
people
 to exercise more. In conclusion,
although
 it is undeniable that young
people
 nowadays tend to work out less compared with the past.
However
, programming
people
 to watch more championships in sports can be beneficial for them. I agree that sports shows are a great source of inspiration for young
people
.
Submitted by nuchnapa.anna on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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