Television sports shows such as Olympic are a good source of motivation for youths who do not like to exercise much. To you agree or disagree?

#television #sports #olympic #source #motivation #youths #exercise

It is widely claimed that some youths nowadays tend to watch sports shows because it is a great motivation for those who rarely exercise. My reason why I agree with

this

statement will be elaborated on in

this

essay.

To begin

with, in

this

day and ,age it is hard for the young generations to work out

due to

the rise of technology that

interaction

Replace the word

interacts

show examples

with

human

Add an article

a human

the human

show examples

being more.

Therefore

, it is inevitable that spending less time

outdoor

Replace the word

outdoors

show examples

or at fitness had been decreasing presently.

However

, technological advancement brings various programs to

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

generation and

this

can stimulate some of them to

workout

Correct your spelling

work out

show examples

more as they can absorb the prime example from the players. Interestingly, streaming media plays a crucial role in

teenager's

Fix the agreement mistake

teenagers'

show examples

lifestyles regardless of what kind of programs they are interested

Change preposition

in.

show examples

Studies have shown that in China, government monitors the young generation to watch Olympic shows during their school break. As the result, the number of gym memberships in China had

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

grown after that.

To simply

Change preposition

Simply

show examples

explain, watching their favourite athlete on television is able to motivate

people

to exercise more. In conclusion,

although

it is undeniable that young

people

nowadays tend to work out less compared with the past.

However

, programming

people

to watch more championships in sports can be beneficial for them. I agree that sports shows are a great source of inspiration for young

people

Submitted by nuchnapa.anna on Sat Feb 25 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

231 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Television sports shows such as Olympic are a good source of motivation for youths who do not like to exercise much. To you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You recently stayed at a hotel for a conference with your company and there were several problems with your room. Write to the hotel management to complain. Include ● Where you stayed ● What the problems were ● How they can fix your complaints

The best way to reduce emissions from vehicles is to impose a higer tax on vehicles which use a lot of fuel and lower tax on those that don't. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

as well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

The government should pay the cost of the course to everyone who wants to study at the university. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Advances in technology and automation have reduced the need for manual labour. Therefore, working hours should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?