Multi-cultural societies, which are a mixture of different ethnicity people, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. Do you agree or disagree?

#societies #mixture #ethnicity #people #country

Societies comprising people belonging to varied castes, languages, cultures and religions are referred to as multicultural societies. Whether a

country

with

such

a mixture brings more benefits or drawbacks is often debated. In my opinion, the advantages of a multicultural

society

outweigh the disadvantages.

This

essay will elucidate my assertions in the forthcoming paragraphs. It is usually seen that people who are citizens of

such

a dynamic

country

are acceptable, tolerant and considerate towards other cultures and traditions.

This

helps them to adjust and be comfortable in any other

country

due to

their open mindset.

Moreover

, citizens of a diverse cultural

country

are able to celebrate each other’s traditions, so there is a cultural exchange that helps people to live in peace and harmony.

For instance

, in India, humans celebrate festivals together without religious disparity.

This

promotes a positive vibe, thereby contributing towards the betterment of

society

at large.

However

, the drawbacks of a diverse cultural nation cannot be ignored. Certainly, there have been many instances wherein humans belonging to minority religions or beliefs have been dominated by prominent ones.

This

results in a loss of traditional and cultural ethnicity.

Further

, inter-religion fights are very common in

such

places.

For example

, the Gujarat riots between Hindus and Muslims created a lot of chaos in the

country

on the whole.

Such

incidents are dreadful and is detrimental to

society

at large.

To conclude

, even though there are cons to being a part of a multicultural

society

, the pros that

such

a place brings to the table are tremendous.

Submitted by prabhunisha0994 on Sat Feb 25 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Multi-cultural societies, which are a mixture of different ethnicity people, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries have severe problems with students behavior. what do you this are the cause of this? what solution can you suggest?

These days many kids spend a lot of their time playing computer games instead of doing sports. What is the cause of this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?