some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together, To what extent dou you agree of disagree wtih this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages #dou #wtih

Music

always

bring

Change the verb form

brings

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

entertainment

Change preposition

show examples

our life , listening

music

Change preposition

to music

show examples

gives

Remove the article

apply

show examples

happiness

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

person and reduced all kind of stress.

However

, few

dewellers

Correct your spelling

dwellers

jewellers

ask that

music

presents the accurate way to live

together with

the several

cultural

Replace the word

cultures

show examples

. I agree with the statement that

music

is a powerful medicine for

human

Add an article

a human

the human

show examples

being

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

show examples

. I discuss my

prospective

Correct your spelling

perspective

show examples

among

Change preposition

show examples

it and give opine. First and foremost,

music

is a natural useful channel to elaborate our feelings . There

are

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show examples

various

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

music

like pop, rock and classical operas.

Thus

music

plays

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show examples

important

factors

Correct the article-noun agreement

factor

show examples

in cultural activities.

Although

, progressively people represent their

cultural

Replace the word

culture

show examples

and

tradition

Fix the agreement mistake

traditions

show examples

through singing . For, instance,

india

Change the capitalization

India

show examples

is a diverse country as in

Correct article usage

the northan

show examples

northan

Correct your spelling

northern

Northan

side

punjabi

Change the capitalization

Punjabi

show examples

music

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

a huge reputation and popularity.

Therefore

, with the help of listening

Change preposition

to punjabi

show examples

punjabi

Change the capitalization

Punjabi

show examples

singing masses

also

knows about the

punjabi

Change the capitalization

Punjabi

show examples

culture and language which is a proud moment for artists. Because they can unite everything with their lyrics. Moving

further

, western

music

is becoming widely listened

Change preposition

to by

show examples

youth so it symbolises

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

respect and love

Change preposition

for

show examples

their culture.

Nevertheless

music

is beneficial for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

health , because it

overcome

Change the verb form

overcomes

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

stress, depression,

anxiety

Correct word choice

and anxiety

show examples

and improves sleeping power ,

mental

Correct word choice

and mental

show examples

health and encouraged excitement. For,instance, the American study

show

Change the verb form

shows

show examples

that listening

other

Change preposition

to other

show examples

cultures provides sufficient information and knowledge about their history and living standard to young generations.

Last

but not least,

music

build

Correct subject-verb agreement

builds

show examples

a strong relationship between different cultures equal as it was pivotal for them in

fast-paced

Add an article

a fast-paced

show examples

life. In conclusion,

music

connected the network between different

Correct your spelling

cultures

cultural

culturals

Correct your spelling

cultures

and it is

also

pivotal for entertainment, emotions and for positiveness

Submitted by Jimmydehal090 on Sat Feb 25 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together, To what extent dou you agree of disagree wtih this opinion?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and five your own

More and more people are using internet to do their tasks rather that doing in person for example shopping bankings hotel bookings. Do you think tha advantage outweigh disadvantage

It's generally believed that success in fields such as art and sport can only be achieved if a person has natural talent. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or artist. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Freshwater has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of this increased demand, and what measures could governments and individuals take to respond to this problem?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages ?