IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Give your opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
Encountering unconditional difficulties is one of the most common parts of our life. Some argue that accepting a bad moment is essential,
while
 others argue that it is necessary to take prompt action to get rid of the hardships.
This
 essay aims to investigate these perspectives and my viewpoint is to support the latter view. On the one hand, it is said that God sometimes gives us challenges and difficulties in our life,
thus
 in the face of predicaments is inevitable and out of our control.
In contrast
, remaining calm and patient is somehow an appropriate approach during the bad times.
For example
, some employees, especially those working in tourism-related jobs, were unemployed during the pandemic of COVID-19 for three years. Even though they were under financial pressure, they still kept peaceful minds and waited for the end of the spread of the disease.
As a result
, it is possible to accept unexpected moments.
On the other hand
, all human beings are born with a sense of problem-solving skills and we
definately
Correct your spelling
definitely
 use
this
 gift to solve
with
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apply
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problems.
For instance
, some flight attendants lost their jobs during the pandemic,
however
, they strived to make improvements by learning new skills and taking different categories of courses in order that
changed
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change
show examples
 their career pathways.
Therefore
, it is evident that people inherently tend to tackle problems so as to survive in the complex world.  All in all, to accept the hardships or to deal with the problems is one of the most controversial debates in recent decades. In my opinion, it is believed that our fate is in our hands,
thus
 trying to make a change is more suitable than doing nothing in the worst moments.
Submitted by kylewkh726 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the supporting sentences are clearly linked to this main idea, using appropriate cohesive devices such as linking words or pronouns. This will enhance logical flow and make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Be consistent with the point of view you present. Make sure to include an introduction that paraphrases the question and makes your opinion clear. Your conclusion should restate your view without introducing new ideas.
task achievement
Ensure your essay covers all parts of the task, articulating your opinions with clearly developed ideas and views that are relevant to the question. Expand on these with relevant examples or explanations.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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