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Band 4.5

Countries with long working days are more successful economically, but there are some negative social consequences.  To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #consequences
Some nations spend more
time
 working and
Wrong verb form
resulting
show examples
resulted
Add the preposition
inresulted
fromresulted
show examples
 a more prosperous
life
.
However
,
this
jeopardize
Change the verb form
jeopardizes
show examples
 having a healthy body and
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
realationship
Correct your spelling
relationship
relationships
 with family. I strongly agree, that spending most of the
time
 working has a tremendous effect on
people
's
life
. Other
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
 choose to spend most of their
time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working without realizing the drawbacks.
In addition
, for others working hard means having a good
life
 and
this
is`
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their motivation.
People
 should consider that money is not everything and health is wealth.
Moreover
, having s balance
life
 is the ultimate goal.
For instance
, if a person
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 sick sometimes the money is not enough to shoulder all the expenses. Apart from that,
people
 should not dwell much of their
time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working
rather
Correct word choice
but rather
show examples
also
 spend it with their families. For others, no matter how wealthy is the person without having a
love
Change the verb form
loved
show examples
one's
Unnecessary verb
one
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 it seems their
life
 is empty. Human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 exist in many factors
such
 as love, companionship and a sense of belongingness.
For example
, those
people
neglecting
Wrong verb form
neglect
show examples
 their families despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their wealth and capabilities to purchase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
material things are really not happy in
life
. In conclusion,
although
 working long hours would help the
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 progress.
However
,
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 body and having
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 happy
life
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more important. I believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 a
balance
Change the verb form
balanced
show examples
life
 is
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 key to
successn
Correct your spelling
success
 in all nations.
Submitted by namlaemy on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • correlation
  • GDP (Gross Domestic Product)
  • detrimental
  • stress levels
  • strain
  • work-life balance
  • emerging economies
  • unsustainable growth
  • social unrest
  • productivity tools
  • government policies
  • social well-being
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