IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?

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Large cities are seen as places of
opportunities
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunity
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;
however
Linking Words
,
life
Use synonyms
 in urban areas can be dramatically difficult for inhabitants.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
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 should improve city
life
Use synonyms
 for migrants. In subsequent paragraphs,
this
Linking Words
 essay shall see my explanations of some drawbacks. There are several reasons why
Use synonyms
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
 in a city is difficult.
Firstly
Linking Words
, high unemployment observed in large cities and
people
Use synonyms
 migration leads to more inactive
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in Almaty population is
for
Change preposition
apply
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about 1.5
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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millions
Correct your spelling
million
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
,
after
Correct word choice
and after
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 migration from rural areas,
accordingly
Linking Words
 unemployment increased.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is important to care about food and drink. It requires hard work and money to feed all population in mega-polis.
For instance
Linking Words
, Hong Kong is a large city and not all
people
Use synonyms
 can afford to live there. So,
government
Add an article
the government
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 should solve
this
Linking Words
 problem and improve urban
life
Use synonyms
 for everyone. Nowadays, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 are migrating to populated areas and
ministry
Correct article usage
the ministry
show examples
 should help them in search of a better
life
Use synonyms
. One of the most effective ways is to attract transnational companies like
McDonalds
Change noun form
Mcdonald's
Mcdonalds'
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, Apple and Starbucks. It can help to find jobs for inhabitants and
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct article usage
the other
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other
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
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hand
Add a comma
,hand
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 it is beneficial for companies as a new income. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, when Kazakhstan took independence, they invite global businesses like Samsung to employ
people
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
politics should reduce traffic jams and increase the use of public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, they can make special roads for buses and a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 start to use bus lines.
To conclude
Linking Words
, living in
a large cities
Correct the article-noun agreement
large cities
a large city
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 has some drawbacks,
however
Linking Words
, I believe that government should improve the quality of urban
live
Replace the word
life
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 for everyone by
methods
Correct article usage
the methods
show examples
 mentioned above.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Metropolis
  • Rapid urban growth
  • Megacity
  • Urban sprawl
  • Housing affordability
  • Infrastructure development
  • Public transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Pollution
  • Noise pollution
  • Green spaces
  • Job market
  • Social cohesion
  • Community engagement
  • Safety measures
  • Crime prevention
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