IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Task 1: The chart below gives information about the age of women in Australia when they gave birth to their first child in 1966, 1986 and 2006.

#information #age #women #australia #birth #first #child
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The chart compares the proportion of
women
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delivered
diverted
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who divered
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divered
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delivered
 their child for the
first
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 time in
term
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terms
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 of age groups in Australia in
seperate
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separate
 3
years
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( 1966, 1986 and 2006)
Overall
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, it can be seen clearly that the percentage of
women
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 who gave birth to their
first
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 child witnessed a gradual increase at all ages. One notable trend was that
while
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 there was a fall in the proportion of
first
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-time mothers aged 30 or under, the opposite was true for the figure of
women
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whose
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apply
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aged over 30. In 1966, the majority of
women
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at
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apply
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over 60% were aged between 20 and 24
years
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 old when
dilivering
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delivering
 their
first
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 child, compared to 35% who were young
mother
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mothers
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, aged
at
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apply
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under 19. After 40
years
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, these figures dropped sharply to around 34% and 15% , respectively. The 25-30 age group saw a slightly different pattern, with a rise of about 15% in the
first
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 20
years
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, followed by a decline of nearly 10% twenty
years
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 later , down to just over 40 %. Turning to the remaining age categories, the proportions of 30-34s and 34-39s who were
first
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-time mothers experienced dramatic increases over the
40-year-period
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40-year period
, from approximately 13% to 47% and from 8% to 30%, respectively. The figures for
women
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 aged 40 or over remained relatively stable at around 2% and 4% during the same period.
Submitted by bobong120906 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, first, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic changes
  • first-time mothers
  • age bracket
  • fertility rate
  • childbearing age
  • socioeconomic factors
  • educational attainment
  • healthcare advancements
  • family planning
  • societal norms
  • trend analysis
  • delaying motherhood
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