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Band 5.5

Volunteer work organized by middle school bring more benefits than problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#volunteer #work #middle #school
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As students are well-rounded
developed
Correct word choice
and developed
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,
volunteer
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 activities have been much accounted
by
Change preposition
for by
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 junior high which
even
Add a missing verb
is even
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as
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apply
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a requirement for graduation. Unpaid
work
Use synonyms
 might have some
downside
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downsides
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, but I believe that there are more advantages for those young participants than disadvantages,
as well as
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 the whole of society. On one hand, taking part in
volunteer
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 may help develop positive qualities
of
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in
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 youths. To be more specific, students would be patient and compassionate through
such
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 works.
For example
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, numerous
volunteer
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 works are related to vulnerable groups.
Hence
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 good qualities
such
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 as forbearance,
sympathetic
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sympathy
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, and
affectionate
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affection
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 are built during the process. Concurrently, people who are compassionate can make many positive
contribution
Change to a plural noun
contributions
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 to the community.
In addition
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, cooperation would need to be demonstrated
through
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throughout
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 the project.
For instance
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,
Use synonyms
volunteer
Correct article usage
the volunteer
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 industry often will group
junior
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juniors
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 as a team, each person will be assigned
with
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apply
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their
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or their
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 own tasks. They would not be allowed to slack off the fundamental
work
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 of themself.
As a result
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,
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
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 of responsibility and
sense
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a sense
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 of achievement when they finish their
work
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 will be appealed
inside of
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to
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 their heart.
On the other hand
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, various drawbacks may be
Correct article usage
a concerned
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concerned
Replace the word
concern
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.
This
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 is because assuming that schools have not explained the meaning of volunteerism, juveniles may think that it is time-consuming. When those teenagers will be distracted from their courses and assignments to do
volunteer
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 without understanding the
meanings
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meaning
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 behind it significantly, they would not be willing to participate.
However
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,
such
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 issues are insignificant. In conclusion,
volunteer
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 programs have an excellent impact on students themselves and civilization.
Besides
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 learning, it
also
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 improves students’ personal
quality
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qualities
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. Ultimately,
although
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 volunteerism has its disadvantages, I believe that the benefits definitely outweigh the cons.
Submitted by huxleychen41 on

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